Alexandra Fleksher

Klal Perspectives, The Ben Torah Baal Habayis

To read this issue’s questions, CLICK HERE.

From Learning to Working: Adding on Another Room

I just completed a three-year stint at a local Bais Yaakov teaching English Literature and Public Speaking.  Since the school has neither internet access nor a secular library, I struggled in setting expectations for the girls’ requirement to do research for an informational speech. Eventually, I decided to assign a “Biography Speech.”  Each student was asked to choose an Artscroll or Feldheim biography of a gadol (Torah giant) and select three traits of this gadol as her focus. Despite the fact that my students’ speeches relied on a single source and were therefore one-sided, each year they came out rather good – at least according to my adjusted standards. The speeches were structured, organized and well delivered.  And as an unexpected bonus, I walked away feeling inspired by the stories of mesiras nefesh (self-sacrifice) and kavod haTorah (honor brought to the Torah) of these great Torah giants.

While I enjoyed listening to these eager 12^th graders, the exercise left me with an uneasy feeling.  Were the traits and behaviors praised in these speeches and offered as a model practically attainable in today’s world?  Should our daughters be taught to strive to adhere to the standards of tznius and piety adhered to by Rebbetzin X?  Should they be led to expect their future husbands to learn Torah with the single-mindedness of Rabbi Y? Our children are filled with the many beautiful and inspiring stories of the greatest of men and women, but do these stories make up the dreams of what my Bais Yaakov seniors should strive for and expect in a husband?

The reality is that most men, in even the most dedicated of families, will not remain on the Torah-only path they are taught to embrace and will eventually go to work.  In what capacity, with what degree or vocational training, and in what time frame often depends on the type of yeshiva he attended, and is a topic for another edition of Klal Perspectives. But suffice it to say that there is often a disconnect between girls’ expectations and practical realities, as well as between what they anticipate will be their husband’s role and what Hashem actually has in mind. Both of these value areas significantly affect the criteria by which they will gauge their family’s growth, as well as the respect they will ultimately have for their husbands.

The Kollel Experience

The poster-girl Bais Yaakov graduate, who goes on to a recognized Bais Yaakov seminary, wants to be moser nefesh for Torah. The faceless, black-hatted bochur of her dreams ideally has some of the traits of her favorite seminary rabbis, as well as the drive, discipline and devotion that she has been led to assume is normative and standard. She enters marriage eager to make the sacrifices she is taught will enable him to achieve gadlus baTorah (greatness in Torah). The ideal presented to her in her years of formative chinuch is to marry a “learner.” It may be debated whether or not this goal is stated explicitly and formally, and certainly each Bais Yaakov and seminary has its own flavor. Furthermore, the expected kollel tenure of a “learner” means different things to different people.  Yet despite the nuanced distinctions, a constant theme emerges: marry a working guy only if you have more materialistic needs and will not be able to tolerate the kollel lifestyle. If at all possible, though, start off your marriage in kollel and take it year by year for as long as you can make it work.

Starting one’s early years of marriage in kollel has many advantages.  If financially feasible, the kollel lifestyle is one cloistered away from many of the secular world’s negative influences, enabling a husband and wife to establish the foundations of their relationship and family in a more protected environment.  The kollel period also, of course, gives the husband a chance to learn full-time, building his Torah knowledge and focusing on his spiritual growth under the guidance of his rebbeim in a way that will no longer be available once he begins working.  The husband and wife’s commitment to Torah and their striving for growth, in both hashkafa (outlook) and halacha, establishes the religious standards the couple would like to maintain and hold dear as they build their family, IY”H, in the years ahead.

While there are many benefits that a kollel period provides to couples who expect to enter the workforce, the conclusion of that period introduces significant practical, emotional and attitudinal challenges. Does the yeshiva offer guidance to the kollel yungerman who is considering leaving kollel or who is already on his way out the door? Are husbands prepared for the major contrast in schedule and atmosphere between that of the kollel life and the workplace?  Do these men feel confident and proud to begin working or disappointed and ashamed that they could no longer “make it in learning”? Finally, are former kollel members equipped with the skills and training necessary to become effective breadwinners?

For many kollel families, the departure from kollel produces an unprecedented confrontation, as the husband leaves the sheltered environment of the yeshiva and enters a broader world filled with many allures, both physical and ideological.  He is leaving a Torah-only reality and entering a day filled with work, encumbered by the weight of financial responsibility and often the guilt of not having as much time and energy left to learn.

If the ideal presented to him in his yeshiva days was limited to “stay in learning as long as possible,” then he inevitably must contemplate whether he is now living a bedieved (second best) existence.  Yet if the message includes the greatness of being an honest baal habayis who supports his family and is kovea itim (establishes a fixed learning schedule), then he is a success story with no harm done to his ego or neshama (soul).

Many challenges face the ex-kollel wife, as well, and the struggles are equally complex.  It is not uncommon for a woman to experience a crisis of identity once she and her husband are “no longer in kollel.”  Much of her spirituality (including her entitlement to Olam Haba (the World to Come), as she had learned) was dependent upon her husband’s learning.  The more learning the better.  And so while she may have been happy to excuse her husband from certain chores when his learning left him depleted of energy, she is less sympathetic when he arrives home from a long and exhausting day at work, helps with the homework/dinner/bath/bedtime routine, runs to mincha/maariv in between, and then considers whether to cancel his chavrusa (study partner).  When he was learning full-time, her husband’s Torah study was keeping the world spinning.  Now, his days at the office are so… mundane.

If the ideal presented to her in her seminary days is to support a husband in learning for as long as possible, then perhaps she feels disappointed, especially if her husband started working because she could no longer financially support their growing family.  But if the message includes being an isha kesheira (supportive wife) who supports whatever and all Torah learning her husband does, and who is proud and appreciative that he is fulfilling his financial obligations of the kesubah (marriage contract), then she will be a happy akeres habayis (pillar of the home) without any nagging feelings that her husband was not really successful in learning.

The Exalted Baal Habayis: A Message for our Youth

In our communities, the contemporary American frum baal habayis is a figure that is not talked about enough.  He is not recognized for his significant contributions to Torah and the spiritual growth of his family and community.  Some view him as the one who settles for daf yomi.  Yet his learning, which he carves out early in the morning and/or late at night, is exceedingly precious to him, alongside his commitment to support his family.  While actually quite heroic, the baal habayis’s efforts are often left unrecognized and underappreciated.  He may not be the askan (activist) or the philanthropist honored at the annual dinners, but he is doing his best to earn a living to pay the bills and tuition.  He is koveah itim and observant of the Torah and its principles, even though he is faced with myriad religious challenges he never encountered while he was in the bais hamedresh.  The ben Torah baal habayis should be lauded.  He should be viewed as a community hero.  And any Bais Yaakov graduate should be proud to stand by his side.

Girls need to hear that in addition to the choice of marrying a long-term learner, an equally heroic and no less spiritually striving option is to marry a ben Torah who is working, in training for a career, or has concrete plans to go into a profession. Show them role models, ideally teachers, who are passionate about Torah and whose husbands are working. Teach them that while it takes hard work, they too – as a couple – can create a ruchinus-centered and growth-oriented Torah home. Emphasize that being an akeres habayis and supporting a husband’s learning means recognizing that whatever learning he is doing, he is building the world. And when the husband may struggle with learning time, and no longer identify himself as a kollel yungerman, remind him to appreciate the grandeur of his commitment to Torah Judaism and the significant contribution he is making to both the family and the broader community.  Help them realize the importance of women being aware of the struggles men in the 21^st century face, and to be grateful that a working husband has found his personal role in avodas Hashem (service of G-d), making many efforts to make Torah primary in his life.

Seminaries and Bais Yaakovs need not be overly concerned that by taking this broader route, girls will no longer aspire to support their husbands in full-time learning.  Presenting more than one way to be an akeres habayis will not thwart the idealistic girls’ desires to marry a boy in learning, nor will it dissuade a girl who is considering it.  On the contrary, it will open up avenues of respect for all types of bnei Torah and their wives, and it will provide further options for girls in forming their future vision of the women they want to become.  Communicating a more expansive definition of what it means to be a supportive wife and a ben Torah is simply the honest, realistic and necessary route.  No one wants disappointed wives of frum working men who never took the opportunity to appreciate their husband’s role because “no one prepared them for this” in seminary.

It is important to note that many observant men in the workforce, together with their wives, understand and appreciate the importance of their role in providing for their families and in serving Hashem. In such families, the wife does not dismiss her husband as being second rate for not learning full-time or not being able to learn as much as they both would prefer. Instead, she has a deep appreciation for his critical role and his efforts in supporting the family and in utilizing the gifts that Hashem gave him to contribute to the world.  Both husband and wife are proud of their family’s role as Torah Jews and are aware of the imperative for all to make a kiddush Hashem (sanctify G-d’s name), especially for those whose daily routines take them into the broader society.  Perhaps this attitude stems from one’s upbringing or perhaps it is through formal chinuch.  But it is this attitude that is critical to success in both family harmony and religious growth, and keeping this mindset will help the working man stay focused and inspired in doing his holy work of providing for his family.

The Exhausted Baal Habayis

Even if a baal habayis does feel satisfied in his work, there is no doubt that being a breadwinner and ben aliyah (growing spiritually) at the same time is a stressful job.  Consider, for instance, the concept of the Orthodox Superwoman, a topic bemoaned by many a frum lady as an impossible standard. Shabbos and Yom Tov meals are always gourmet, health-conscious and chicly presented, thanks to our new standards in kosher cookbook cuisine.  She has several kids in tow, all bedecked in the cutest, up-to-date styles.  She looks awesome, sheitel perfect, and she is also in-shape, somehow managing to make time for the gym.  She is intimately involved in the local chesed organizations, regularly attends shiurim, and is perpetually positive, satisfied by her busy, blessed life and clearly a total aishes chayil (woman of valor).  Even more mystifying is the woman who does all else, and also works, developing her many talents and thriving in her career in a professional setting.  Just the thought of this wonder woman sends stress signals up the harried mother’s spine.

To be sure, the Orthodox Superman ideal exists, as well.  Whether it is due to the numerous responsibilities of the religious lifestyle or compounded by the complicated reality of the 21^st century, the frum husband of today has more than a full plate.  The day is not only focused on going to work, being at work, and dealing with the stresses of work.  Baruch Hashem, there are kids to spend time with and help with homework, there is learning and davening to make time for, and a wife to connect with, who could also do with a date night – and some help around the house. There are community matters to address and there are financial obligations to attend to, which fall under their own unique category of “Orthonomics.”  He leads a morally upright life despite the temptations around him, some as close to him as in his pocket or on his desk.  And, for the sake of his physical and emotional health, he wants, in fact desperately needs, to carve out time for self-care, exercise and recreation. But, how and when?  And have things always been so complicated?

Some Suggestions

• Redefine “Working”

In a well-known letter written to Rav Yitzchok Hutner, zt”l, by a yeshiva graduate, the student expresses his concerns about having entered the workforce and feeling that he leads a “double life.” In one world, he has his Torah and mitzvos, while in the other, his job and other obligations. Rav Hutner suggested that the student was simply viewing the respective roles incorrectly. There are not two independent roles that are being played, but rather varying functions within a single role: being an eved Hashem (servant of G-d).  Rav Hutner proposed the metaphor of describing the young man’s life as a house, and that broadening his life by working was akin to adding on another room.^1[2]

I read this letter while I was still in seminary and it has never left me.  Rav Hutner’s advice provides insight for all wives of baalei batim and, of course, for baalei batim themselves, whether or not they spent time learning in yeshiva before working.  The chol (mundane) aspect of work and the kodesh (holy) aspects of life should not be viewed as separate parts.  They are all segments of a beautiful, broad life being lived as an eved Hashem.  One’s profession is nothing less than a facet of one’s avodah.  It is an extension of oneself – a manifestation of one’s strengths and talents.  Having the opportunity to work, on an ideal level, simply broadens one’s reality.

• Aseh Lecha Rav

As life becomes more complicated and responsibilities increase, it is crucial that our priorities and time allocations be periodically reviewed and reassessed.  In the context of a rushed life, fraught with competing demands for our attention and time, a person’s vision often is blurred by personal preferences and needs.  While a husband and wife generally may be able to work through disagreements on priorities and time allocations, occasionally, third-party, objective and wise counsel is helpful.  Having a rav who knows and understands you, and with whom you are comfortable, is important, as he can give you guidance in helping you prioritize various, and often conflicting, responsibilities.

This rav is also essential in navigating the learning/earning equation. For those men who spent significant hours of their day learning in kollel and are now spending most of their hours working, the counsel of a rav will prove invaluable in helping to alleviate the struggles involved in reorienting one’s learning that many face when leaving kollel.  Furthermore, many rabbanim have stressed how important it is for men to find satisfaction in their learning and not just learn because they are supposed to; men who are working may need to make an effort to communicate with their rebbeim to develop an approach to learning that will remain satisfying throughout their lives.

• K’neh Lecha Chaver

Neither men nor women should underestimate the benefit of seeking out the friendship and counsel of others.  Even though men often wince at the suggestion that they need others for support and input, baalei batim can benefit greatly from developing friendships with others who share similar values and aspirations and who also struggle with that work/life/learning balance. There may be the friend who learns early in the morning, the neighbor who jogs at night, the chavrusa who takes his family on outings on Sunday afternoons.  Mature adults, no less than youngsters, need role models.  They can be found in real people and also in great figures in Jewish history who were both talmidei chachamim and working men.

Conclusion

In conclusion, there is so much to admire in today’s baal habayis.  As a wife of former full-time learner and current full-time worker, I recognize the challenges that my husband faces, yet I am confident Hashem is proud of his contributions to his family, community and the world around us.  To the baal habayis of today: don’t be overwhelmed by the numerous and potentially daunting responsibilities of the Torah-observant man.  With guidance, seek a way to balance, not juggle, the many blessings of your life.  Be that example to other baalei batim, and very importantly, to our youth – both young men and women – of what it means to be an eved Hashem who also works for a living.

 

Alexandra Fleksher holds a Master’s in Jewish Education from Azrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education.  Over the past 12 years, she has taught in community schools and Bais Yaakov.

¹ Pachad Yitzchak, Letter 94

Aaron Berger

Klal Perspectives, The Ben Torah Baal Habayis

To read this issue’s questions, CLICK HERE.

Addressing the Baal Habyis’s Challenge – a Baal Habayis’s Take

I must first express my appreciation to Klal Perspectives (KP) for soliciting thoughts from regular baalei batim (Jewish laymen) such as myself on serious topics such as the ones addressed in this issue. Since practical answers on topics of such import surely require rabbinic approbation, this article is intended primarily to trigger discussion in the vast virtual living room that is KP. The article’s inherent value, if any, is in presenting an earnest voice.

The Introduction and Questions to this issue builds a solid case that the sincere ben Torah baal habayis commonly has feelings of inadequacy and frustration at not possibly being able to meet the expectations imposed upon him by his community, or that are self-imposed. After all, how could someone not feel frustrated and inadequate when the task is so great and the day is so short? In fact, I found this thesis so compelling that when I concluded reading the Introductions and Questions, I began to feel desperately inadequate. This feeling, however, was not triggered by disappointment in my performance as a baal habayis, but rather precisely because I have not, until now, thought myself to be inadequate. I have not been walking around as an “ich bin ah gornisht” (I am a nothing), which, having now considered the KP Introduction, is exactly what I should have been doing all along. Unless I could claim that I had figured out how to perfectly execute all my baal habayis responsibilities (which clearly I could not), what right did I have to not feel miserably discouraged and inadequate?

Upon further reflection, I realized that my lack of disappointment resulted from two factors. First, I may not be taking my baal habayis responsibilities seriously enough, but second, I am not fully sold on all the assumptions that underpin the thesis of the Introduction. However, had KP done nothing more than raise the awareness of baalei batim like me that we, in fact, have such deep and profound responsibilities, dayenu! That awakening would have been reason enough to be grateful, since the recognition of a challenge (which I am not convinced we all knew we had) is the first and perhaps most important step toward addressing it.

Addressing the Issue

While I defer to the esteemed rabbinic professionals to guide the baal habayis in his struggle to prioritize among competing responsibilities, I have developed, with a small group of peers, several ideas that may assist the thinking of the baal habayis as he confronts these challenges. What can the individual do to successfully embrace his role as a baal habayis, and what can the community do to support him?

Accepting the Challenge – To the extent that baal habatim have given up on the goal of growing vigorously in avodas Hashem, the abandonment of this aspiration is due in no small part to the message, real or imagined, that becoming a baal habayis represents a monumental failure, reflecting a paucity of yiras Shomayim (fear of Heaven) or idealism. It is vital that efforts be made to militate against that kind of negative thinking. It is my understanding that one is not consigned to a lower level of avodas Hashem by pursuing a career in the secular world rather than remaining in the bais hamedrash. Bottom line here is: Adam muad le’olam – we are obligated to rise above anything we have heard that would lead us to lesser ambitions and lesser goals in avodas Hashem.

Fashion and Follow a Plan – The frustration of the baal habayis is in many ways the same as anyone’s frustration when they find themselves distant from their most important goals. In fact, when one fails to delineate exactly what one is trying to achieve and whether or not there is a reasonable plan to get there, frustration follows.

In private industry, every year, department heads strategize on how to allocate their budget to best achieve their intended goals. The baal habayis should employ this same common-sense approach when dealing with his most precious commodity, his time.

The rather simplistic chart below is intended to illustrate the initial steps of a plan. Categories of activity should be listed, each weighted in priority and available focus. Perhaps in consultation with a Rav, each baal habayis should divide the pie chart in accordance with his personal needs and priorities.

This time allocation exercise can be pursued, however, only after investing in the hard work of formulating a set of goals and associated priorities. How is such an exercise pursued? A colleague of mine calls it “right-to-left-planning.” To know what to do now (the “left”), we must first envision where we need to be by the target date (the “right”). This is in line with the Ponovezher Rav’s statement that he had “backed into” all his activities when building his mega yeshiva in Bnei Brak.

It is no wonder that Daf HaYomi has been so successful in inducing so many of us to actually spend an hour or two every day learning gemara. Daf Yomi’s attraction is that it is based on definitive, concrete milestones that lead to a definitive, concrete objective – to finish shas. To reach that goal, one must obviously finish the mesechta, and to finish each masechta, one must do whatever it takes to get through today’s daf.

Applying this specific example to the broader range of life goals, we should envision how we, as baalei batim, will look and live once all is said and done (i.e.; retired and moved to Lakewood and/or Carriage House and/or 22 Pinsker). This “right to left planning” should produce a set of objectives, which should then yield an action plan to achieve them. I can almost guarantee that no one’s plans will be directly on the mark, and that most people will adjust them quite a bit as time goes on. Designing a plan, however, will significantly increase the chances of staying focused on achieving those accomplishments that one really cares about.

Each individual’s plan will be quite unique and personal. It may be helpful to take counsel with a spouse, close friend or Rav when attempting to define the right vision for oneself and to allocate time and focus responsibly. But even then, it is wise to prepare a first draft on one’s own, and only then seek the input of others.

Engaging a Rav as a Support System

If we were to track the life journey of an archetypical baal habayis, we would discover that he establishes a series of mentor relationships at the various stages of his development. Each relationship is valuable, but they are generally disjointed and typically become either unavailable or less meaningful as life goes on. As an adult, he may occasionally solicit advice from a “gadol” who, while rich in Torah foundation, is often relatively unfamiliar with his personal context, family background, strengths, challenges, goals and affinities. Since such advice is so often more generic than tailored, it often fails to resonate, or the baal habayis deems the advice unrealistic, leaving him with further feelings of isolation and inadequacy.

The baal habayis would benefit greatly from a constant mentoring resource, who would help tie together the various phases of his growth. As a thought for consideration, perhaps the family shul Rav can serve this role, becoming a key resource as he supports the baal habayis from childhood through the balance of his journey. Who is better qualified than the Rav, whose ever-growing Torah knowledge is complemented by his deep, personal, life-long familiarity with the baal habayis? The Rav can offer a perspective that puts the aggregate set of advice the baal habayis had received from his many mentors into a context that is relevant and meaningful in the “here and now,” helping keep the baal habayis centered and secure. The baal habayis would be at liberty to absorb messages that balance what he learned in yeshiva with new ideas appropriate to his current situation.

This suggestion implies a fundamental shift in the expectations of a Rav and his role. If this approach would be employed, the Rav’s relationship would necessarily be with his congregants’ entire family. He would be expected to strive to develop substantive relationships with the youth of his shul and commit himself to their long-term growth. These job requirements may affect a congregation’s “checklist” of qualifications when choosing a Rav in the first place. The broadened responsibilities would also put additional demands on the Rav’s time. The congregant would not think of the rabbi as a mere service provider, to be utilized for quick inspiration, for a halachic psak or for pastoral duties. The Rav would rather be embraced as a partner in his family’s overall growth. It may behoove a family to actually factor in a prospective Rav’s long-term potential in serving them when choosing a shul, much as they may factor a doctor’s ability to be there for long haul (I know I do this). Notwithstanding that the cradle-to-grave, or even fountain pen-to-grave, rabbi-concept will rarely play out according to script, I submit there is much potential value in broadening the rabbi’s role and leveraging his talents, holistically.

The rabbi-for-life concept is actually not innovative at all. This model already has been established for quite some time in the Chassidic world. In the yeshiva world, of course, the role of the shul Rav is limited in favor of the rosh yeshiva, and often compromised as people move from place to place, and thus from shul to shul. The Chassidic model, by contrast, is all about the centrality of the Rebbe. The Rebbe relationship, at least in theory, provides the kind of continuity I am suggesting, and goes even further in that the Rebbe himself delivers the guidance; he is not just orchestrating the seamless melding of the various threads of advice. Disclaimer: I do not know how this is, or ever was, implemented in practice. I am simply suggesting that we need not start from scratch in envisioning this model. No matter how the Chassidic Rebbe model actually works, here are some characteristics of how I think the “pulpit Rebbe” needs to work:

• Capacity to Engage – The rabbi needs to have sufficient time and focus to maintain meaningful relationships with his flock. [I suspect this may not be the case with the Rebbe model]
• Partnership Approach – A mutual relationship must be created in which the rabbi partners with the congregant to form strategies that the congregant ultimately owns and implements. This differs from a one-way relationship in which the rabbi simply directs his congregant as to how to act, [I suspect the Rebbe model might lean more to the one-way approach]
• Individual-Focused – The nature of the rabbi’s advice must be tailored to the individuality and unique circumstances and history of each congregant. It must be immediately evident to the congregant that the advice being offered is suited to him as an individual, without the influence of broad, klal-level agendas that are not in his interests.

Depending on the Rav’s age at the outset of a relationship, the Rav could theoretically be there for the baal habayis into his 30’s, 40’s and beyond. As an illustration of the beauty and effectiveness of this dynamic, I will describe such a 47-year relationship that I have merited to have with a head of school, and that is still ongoing – thank G-d, bli ayin hora.

Allow me to bring you back a few decades. I have a clear memory of my first day of school at HANC (Hebrew Academy of Nassau County) in 1967. Approaching the half-flight staircase up to my first grade classroom in HANC’s split level building (building and stairs still there in West Hempstead!), I was greeted by a kindly man, a 40-ish Rabbi Meyer Fendel, the founder and principal, who, with a warm and gentle smile, wished me a good first day at school. This memorable interaction turned out to be an introductory step to a lifelong relationship with this chinuch giant and his family that I continue to cherish. Fast forward 47 years. I conferred with Rabbi Fendel as recently as this past summer on how to approach a challenging life situation. His guidance was spot-on and useful, and I found myself equally open to accept it. Why? Because not only did I respect the rabbi’s qualifications as a rabbi and wise man, but I also knew that he really knew me, cared deeply about me and understood the context of my situation in depth. Obviously, not every rabbi is a Rabbi Fendel, and there were clearly other factors that enabled me to maintain my connection with him. But this nostalgic divergence illustrates that a long term relationship is possible and the rewards immeasurable.

Tweaking the Messaging – The yeshiva system’s messaging is clearly ‘up’ on learning and, if only by inference, ‘down’ on working (notwithstanding statements that there’s nothing wrong with it). I don’t think yeshiva leaders would deny, or even want to deny, this view. Fueled by the holy passion of Rav Aharon Kotler, zt”l, yeshiva leadership has done an unimaginably impressive job of firmly implanting Torah’s primacy as a core value into an American Orthodox community, for whom such concepts were once foreign and even unwelcome.

Alas, for the majority of the yeshiva system’s subjects, who do not stay in learning, an unfortunate side effect of this message is a feeling of never quite measuring up. I have confirmed with friends on the right end of the yeshivish spectrum that this is their feeling, though one was quick to add that he sees movement away from the “learning for everyone” approach. Another observer pointed out that, while the anti-work messaging today is not as strong as it was twenty years ago, there still is an inherent inconsistency between the yeshivas’ messaging to baalei batim and the message directed toward and about their sons. “It’s OK that you are working, but surely you want what is ‘best’ for your son.” The message is that since you want better for your child than you yourself could achieve, you should groom him to be a full-time learner.

If the communal goal is to adopt a culture in which each person’s role has equal beauty to HKB”H, our messaging would have to change from early in the educational process. Mechanchim would need to refrain from sending signals that life in the working world is necessarily spiritually diminished. Schools would need to resolve, in their hearts, that it is noble and lechatchila to be a frum baal habayis, and the messaging imparted to their students would have to be consistent in reflecting this view.

As it would be silly for me to expect that the yeshivas transmit a message that they do not actually believe, my associated request to yeshiva leadership is to consider whether they really do not believe in the message, at least for most talmidim, and whether the strong anti-work messages are there to ensure the standard is not diluted.

Here are some quick thoughts of how schools could update their messaging:

• A rebbi, giving an example of a job his student might someday have, would no longer shy away from saying. “So one day, when Yankel is a lawyer…”
• The school would have a career day and have fathers come in and describe what they do for a living. They might even discuss head-on how they navigate the challenges of avodas hashem while succeeding at a job.
• Rabbeim in yeshiva would have open discussions with their students on career options, obviating the need for students to go elsewhere for these discussions, for fear that all he will hear from his rebbi is “don’t leave yeshiva.”

I am sure that schools could each come up with their unique manner of conveying that it is a fine alternative for a ben Torah to be a baal habayis.

Acknowledging the Yeshiva System’s New Role

Why should the yeshiva system dial down its passion for Torah? After all, Torah is what they do. Medical schools are all about medicine, law schools about law and culinary schools are obsessed with the perfect crépe.

Well, perhaps contemporary American yeshivas are actually not only about limud Torah; perhaps in today’s America, where nearly every bochur from a frum family attends yeshiva, the yeshiva is actually a preparatory staging ground for being a frum adult in America, regardless of one’s long term career.

In Europe, the yeshiva system was designed to transform high-potential talmidim into gedolei Yisrael, just as medical schools, lehavdil, measure their success by how well they train their students to become excellent doctors. But does today’s yeshiva honestly anticipate that all frum young men will spend their lives in kollel? Yeshivos must rethink their role regarding these segments of the student body, and update their curriculum to include practical life training. Corporations have learned to segment their customers by taking a hard look at the nature and needs of the customers being served and defining corresponding archetypes, each with its own personality, needs, style and buying patterns. This insight allows companies to serve each respective segment appropriately.

In recognition of the broad spectrum of talmidim, yeshivas should offer workshops on the mission of the baal habayis, how to define success, how to set time priorities, and so on. No doubt, the historical culture of the yeshivas and their leadership, and the traditional single-minded commitment to producing Torah giants, makes the introduction of such dramatic alterations extremely challenging. Moreover, there is certainly a legitimate concern that endorsing alternatives to the all-encompassing value of Torah lishma, if even only for some, threatens to compromise the commitment to Torah study of those who should be the future Torah leadership. These are surely valid points, and I identify with them.

But, can Torah really be built on the shattered idealism of those who do not properly belong in long-term Torah study? The same Torah giants who embrace and preserve Torah surely are equally committed to introducing methods by which the greater portion of the Torah community can grow in their holy role in Klal Yisroel. Perhaps we need different types of yeshivas, each with a curriculum that matches its student body, or perhaps each institution should have separate tracks. We can, and should, maintain the “Toraso Umanuso” (Torah as a profession) type yeshivos, but they should not be the only, or even dominant, style considered le’chatchila (first choice). Perception is key to the success of this idea.

Conclusion

We live in a very special time. In some ways, we face unprecedented challenges, but in others we enjoy unprecedented opportunities. We have a burgeoning community of bnai Torah who are full time Torah students, and an ever increasing community of bnai Torah baalei batim. Each has its own challenges, and each needs chizuk (strengthening) and hadracha (guidance).

I humbly observe, however, that whether or not the ever growing community of yeshiva graduate baalei batim remain loyal to the values and aspirations that they embraced before leaving yeshiva will depend upon how they view their rebbeim in retrospect. Did they prove to be life-long mentors or does it seem they were really only interested in those who would remain in full-time learning?

If they can come away from yeshiva with a vision of avodas Hashem that is naturally applicable to them throughout their lives, they will surely continue to build on their years of yeshiva throughout their lives, becoming a true source of strength for their families and communities far into the future.

 

Aaron Berger attended the Shaalvim, Ner Israel and Mir Yeshivos, works in IT strategy for EMC Corporation, and lives in Passaic, NJ with his baalas bayis and children.

Rabbi Benzion Shafier

Klal Perspectives, The Ben Torah Baal Habayis

To read this issue’s questions, CLICK HERE.

A Successful Model: Tiferes Bochurim – A Misgeres for Growth

While on a pleasant Shabbos afternoon stroll shortly after our family moved to Monsey, I bumped into a former talmid (student). Our relationship had been rather close, so it was delightful to re-connect and to observe this young married man maturing and establishing himself and his family. Since the young man had been a very serious academic, in the course of our pleasantries, as a rebbe is apt to do, I inquired about his “learning.” His response was jarring. “The learning?” His voice lowered with a hint of embarrassment “It’s not going…”

“What do you mean?” I asked. He mumbled. “I am not really learning much at all.” I was disappointed and quite taken aback.

In the following years, I discovered that this young man’s abandonment of Torah study upon leaving yeshiva was not unusual at all. Even those who were the most serious masmidim (i.e., constantly studying) while in yeshiva often allow Torah studies to dwindle, if not lapse entirely, during their transition into baalei batim. Sadly, the cessation of Torah learning is merely one manifestation of an overall decline in focus on religious growth and connection. I also learned that this critical cohort of Torah Judaism is not at all pleased or comfortable with this reduction in their focus on Yiddishkeit, nor do they even fully understand its cause – other than that they are overburdened, distracted, and tired most of the time. They did not anticipate a reduced connection to Torah  in their adult  lives, and  now struggle with how it can be changed.

I also discovered that, with the exception of certain specific kehilos, aside from the daf yomi movement, there has been relatively little communal effort expended to address the loftier ruchniyus (spiritual) needs of this community segment, and little creativity has been invested in this effort.

As the magnitude of this challenge became increasingly clear, I began to learn that many Bnai Torah entering the workforce fail to realize that the transitionary experience they are going through is shared by many others with identical ruchniyus aspirations. Perhaps they are living within a community where few follow their path, or working in an environment with few other frum people or with those who have dissimilar objectives.

This sense of isolation is often accompanied by a profound sense of loneliness, which often translates into frustration and can sometimes even develop into a destructive influence. It dampens the individual’s capacity for passion and turns each attempt to grow in Torah into a burden and an uphill battle. The former masmid finds his commitment to keviyas itim l’Torah (keeping set times for Torah study) wavering, his attention to halachic detail lessening, and his overall self-image as a Ben Torah being diminished. For some, this extends beyond religion and even negatively impacts effectiveness at work and/or at home. This loneliness underlies many of the challenges that Bnai Torah encounter in their experiences outside yeshiva.

This loneliness can be better understood when considering the social dynamics that play out as a student leaves yeshiva. While in yeshiva, the student engages in his davening, learning and personal growth while surrounded by a support network comprised of similar-minded young men, sharing significant commonality of background and interests. The current wide variety of available yeshivos further increases the likelihood that a  young man’s classmates will most likely  reflect his cultural and philosophical orientation.

Life decisions facing a yeshiva student, such as selection of a yeshiva, whether to pursue college and when to begin dating, are all significantly informed by his environment and the choices made by his peers. Leaving the koslei beis hamedrash (confines of the yeshiva) and going to work is, therefore, not merely a change in daily regiment and a reorientation away from an almost exclusive focus on Torah and ruchniyus, but is also a departure from the social misgeres (framework) of like-minded friends. While in yeshiva, this misgeres had been essential to his spiritual growth – and it is suddenly lost upon his departure, with no apparent replacement available.

My Rebbe and Rosh HaYeshiva, R’ Henoch Leibowitz, z”l, had the wisdom to understand this phenomena and the vision to address it. The Rosh Yeshiva once shared with me that he had repeatedly observed yeshiva graduates entering the workforce only to get lost spiritually in a short period of time. Not only were they no longer intimately associated with a yeshiva, they also failed to replace that connection by identifying with a shul or kehilla. Consequently, they lost their invaluable anchor. Then he said to me the words that still echo in my mind: “I want you to start a Tiferes Bochurim.” I had never heard the name Tiferes Bochrim, and had no idea what the Rosh Yeshiva was referring to.

The Rosh Yeshiva proceeded to explain how, in pre-war Europe, poverty forced many yeshiva students to enter the workforce at an extremely young age. An organization named Tiferes Bochurim was formed to provide a social network for these young fellows. They would learn together, socialize together, and become a chevra (peer group). The chevra dynamic sustained them, facilitated their spiritual growth and provided a support system by which they could manage life’s challenges, whether financial, familial or spiritual. The Rosh Yeshiva felt that in today’s environment, young Bnai Torah in the workplace – whether married or single – desperately needed an organization of this type.

For the next several years, I endeavored to actualize the Rosh Yeshiva’s vision. He did not merely contemplate the scheduling of shiurim and chaburos (classes and study groups), though both were key elements. He also envisioned the establishment of a frum “social club” whose participants could identify with each other and which would serve as a misgeres for them that was comparable to a yeshiva, filling a gaping void and facilitating continued growth.

With that general outline, I began an experiment that, while it is no longer operating, for a time helped yeshivaleit entering the workforce combat religious complacency and loneliness.

I began by giving a weekly shmuz (talk) in Monsey to a group of young, working yeshiva graduates (including the talmid I referred to earlier). At the conclusion of the first shiur, the participants stuck around to socialize. In time, the Shmuz became a forum for participants to share their experiences and aspirations (or lack thereof) as well as their challenges. The shiur progressed, attendance grew, and the time we spent together after the shmuz became as important to the attendees as the shmuz itself. Based on the shailos (practical questions) being presented to me, I realized how much the participants were in need of a rebbe to serve as a moreh derech (personal guide) in spiritual matters and in life, generally.

After actualizing my Rebbe’s concept as best I could, I came to more fully appreciate his vision. The key is establishing a misgeres for working yeshiva alumni that is in sync with its target audience. It must create a social context where the challenges of life can be shared and  addressed, and not merely a topic for lectures about mussar or machshava (Jewish thought).  Success can be measured by whether each individual stops feeling like he is out there alone, but rather becomes part of something bigger, and begins to identify with individuals with similar challenges, as well as similar goals in Torah and Yiras Shomayim (fear of Heaven).

The first step toward establishing such groups (which are flourishing in London) in major Jewish communities around the country would be the identification of a Rav who is able to relate to working yeshiva alumni. This Rav would create a program that includes a shiur/shmuz, and a safe environmment for discussions about parnassa, family life and Yiddishkeit. It is critical that the environment be non-judgmental, and that yeshiva alumni feel part of something that can be transformative and enjoyable. Participants will quickly realize that their growth in ruchniyus need not come to a dead end upon leaving yeshiva.

I conclude with two cautions. First is, to steal a phrase, “da lifnei mi atoh omed” – know your audience. The standard yeshiva alumnus has spent a minimum of fifteen years, and sometimes morein Torah schools and yeshivas. The classical approaches employed by kiruv programs are simply inappropriate for fellows who started learning Eilu Metzios in 5^th grade and have spent time grappling with R’ Akiva Eiger’s kashyas (analytical questions). On the other hand, a classical yeshiva mode may also be alienating, since many former yeshiva students may no longer have a meaningful relationship with Hashem. While they daven and learn every day, and perform mitzvos in the regular course of life, these activities are typically not pursued as expressions of a serious ruchniyus connection, but rather reflect the mode of behavior that they have chosen to adopt

Consequently, the substance of a shiur must be sophisticated, as befitting the participants’ extensive learning experience, but it must also be presented with language and terminology that is familiar and comfortable to those ensconced in open society and popular culture. There must be a “no-pressure” atmosphere, but one that also encourages and allows for the internalization of the ideals of bitachon and emunah (trust and faith in G-d).

Despite the outward appearance of integration into the frum community, yeshiva graduates often struggle with “why am I a Jew? What is the purpose of my life? What does Hashem want of me when sending me difficult challenges, whether spiritual or material?” Shiurim should tackle the fundamental aspects of hashkafah (a Torah outlook), and  be presented in a way that is both sophisticated and accessible. Participants must be able to easily relate to the content of all presentations, and the messages must be expressed through real life examples and contemporary experiences.

The second caution is the importance of engaging the wives of the participants. In most instances, wives who observe a profound spiritual transformation in their husbands crave to share in the growth. It is irresponsible to engender serious growth among men while neglecting to address simultaneously the growth of their wives. It istherefore highly advisable that parallel shiurim be arranged for women that cater to their unique challenges, both spiritual and familial. Shabbos retreats would provide wives the opportunity to develop closer relationships with other women who, along with their husbands, are experiencing growth as a couple.

In pre-war Europe, Tiferes Bochurim re-created aspects of the yeshiva experience for those who needed a spiritual home away from home. In contemporary America, yeshiva alumni face deep challenges, and similarly need such an environment, in which individuals can become part of a community with like-minded young men, learning and growing in Torah, and enjoying and benefitting from a frum social network. Our young men will no longer feel that they just survived another day –  they will know that they are developing a life of meaning and spiritual growth.

 

Rabbi Benzion Shafier is the Director of Tiferes Bnai Torah and delivers The Shmuz each week (theshmuz.com).

Rabbi Boruch Clinton

Klal Perspectives, The Ben Torah Baal Habayis

To read this issue’s questions, CLICK HERE.

21^st Century Parnassa: There’s No Reason Why Not

While today, a successful transition into the workforce is certainly no trivial matter, on the whole, things right now are probably no worse than at any other time in the past. The same God Who lovingly guided our ancestors through their many challenges is still around, and still holding our hands.

For some years, I taught Jewish history at the high school level. It was a welcome responsibility, as it forced me to constantly deepen my own knowledge so that at each stage through the curriculum cycle I would understand the material a bit better. Among other things, I discovered that no matter what perils lay outside the city walls, and no matter what you happened do for a living, finding the right balance between the holy and profane has always been a struggle. Consider Eruvin 22b:

Rav Ada bar Masna (decided) to travel (out of town for a long period of time) to yeshiva. His wife said to him: “And what should I do with your children?” He replied: “Is there no more kurmi (soft, edible rubber) in the swamp (with which to feed them)?”

While it’s obvious that participation in the working world presents plenty of significant moral challenges, I’m not convinced that ours are qualitatively worse than those of any other historical period. During Rabbi Akiva, lifetime, a volcano erupted that suddenly buried and, at the same time, preserved the Italian city of Pompeii.  Archaeologists uncovered many of Pompei’s artistic and commercial artifacts in the 19^th century but, for much of the past century, a significant portion of them were kept hidden under lock and key. It seems that their morally explicit nature was considered too shocking for modern audiences! Your spiritually challenging, morning subway commute is probably no worse than a trip to the market was in any major population center of the Roman Empire. Human nature is human nature.

The relevance of most of what I’m going to write here actually hangs on this insight. A young man, anxiously embarking on his career, should understand that he is concerned – in broad terms – about the same kind of issues that worried his ancestors from time immemorial. He must also know that the Torah provides guarantees and support for managing just these problems, giving him some powerful tools to work with. If he’s been led to believe instead that our generation is fundamentally unique, that the challenges of today’s “outside world” are for all intents and purposes insurmountable, then he’s off to a fragile start, indeed.

Perhaps then, we would better prepare our young men (and women) for their professional lives by presenting them with a much more realistic portrayal of what’s actually out there. This is in our community’s best interest since, in any case, they’re bound to eventually figure it out on their own, and probably won’t appreciate having been misled.

Just a couple of illustrative examples:

“The outside world is nasty and brutish; the world of the yeshiva is refined by mussar and good midos.”

Despite what we’re sometimes told, gentiles are NOT universally anti-Semitic, dishonest, and immoral. Nor are (Orthodox) Jews universally honest and moral. For various reasons, I was expecting the very worst when, a year ago, I started work for a company in the information technology industry. Instead, I found myself in an environment of friendly and supportive cooperation, where mistakes were politely managed and successes happily celebrated… and where my peculiar religious needs were genuinely respected. My co-workers were concerned with doing their jobs well and providing value in exchange for their pay.

Sure, there are workplaces whose torments must feel like hellish, medieval dungeons. But, perhaps in part due to a century and a half of labor movements and professional business management studies, on the whole, things are a great deal better than they once were.

“If someone tells you there is wisdom among the nations, believe it.” (Midrash Eicha Rabba 2:13)

I believe, by the way, that exposing our children to carefully selected works of art and culture is critically important to their social and moral development. It’s important for them to see that there are individuals in every corner of society who energetically struggle to discover truth and to do the right thing. Some succeed. Some try hard and fail. Some don’t get far, but at least aspire to something higher. I might well be wrong, but I believe a child who grows up imagining that truth and morality don’t exist beyond the few blocks of his neighborhood is a child who is only a few steps away from rationalizing a decision to cheat government programs.

“Exposure to computers and the Internet destroy one’s ability to think.”

Sitting within earshot of my workstation at my company this past year were a half dozen very talented developers. The sound of their voices became a kind of background music to me during my work. I noticed that they would often spend hours in uninterrupted conversation, seeking solutions to very complicated technical problems. Software development is very demanding work. There is no question that these were very intelligent people capable of focusing on tough problems for long periods of time.  Undoubtedly, these young men – and the population subset they represent – were exposed to computers and the Internet more than just about anyone else on earth.

The software powering the government services, utilities, commerce, and devices we all use was created and maintained by countless thousands of developers. Each of them must, by definition, be capable of sustained and intense concentration. Yet virtually all of them are the products of childhood digital hyper-connectivity.

Excessive exposure to computers is certainly not conducive to either Torah growth or kedushah – nor is it healthy – but that’s no reason to exaggerate or even fabricate problems to advance social agendas.

A Theology of Compromise

While any Orthodox Jew worthy of the title stands ready to sacrifice for Hashem’s Torah if called upon, in this imperfect world, compromise in both the secular and religious parts of our daily lives is common. Most mature adults realize that “having it all” just isn’t on the menu. Everyone has to deal with limits: which of us has ever had enough time, money, talent, intelligence and energy to do everything he wants?

What might be new is the very modern feeling that we can, or even must, have it all. In a more secular sense, it might take the form of the mid-winter “warm weather” vacation or regular upgrades to a newer car lease. “Everyone else has them, my life feels empty of meaning until I get mine, too.” In the specifically Jewish context – and ignoring for the moment the enormous intrinsic value that these activities can have – it might be the feeling that my children can (or must) all engage in full-time learning, that my daughters can (or must) attend $25,000/year seminaries, and that I can (or must) adopt every new and expensive minhag because “that’s what we do.”

I’m not saying that, where appropriate, the full-time study of Torah isn’t both precious and critically important. But perhaps to some degree, it’s been reduced to an economic commodity – little more than a status symbol. In that context, it is market forces rather than common sense that drive its adoption.

To some degree in my lifetime – and certainly in living memory – the feeling “if we haven’t got the money, we just won’t buy it” was prevalent. Chazal certainly seemed to think that way:

“Make your Shabbos like a weekday rather than accept the help of others.” (Pesachim 112a; see Tosafos to Beitza 15b who applied it to undertaking unsecured debt for any mitzva activity)

What was the primary halachic application of this ruling? Forgoing shalosh seudos each Shabbos is preferred over accepting yeshiva tuition scholarships for your children. Which of us – myself included – would even consider such a choice? But even if we’re unlikely to go that far, objectively considering compromises can help reduce all kinds of pressure. A young family capable of making hard-headed choices might discover that more money, time, and energy are available for truly important purposes than they’d first thought. Perhaps, in fact, some of our struggles are self-inflicted.

Financial Training

In my later years as a rebbi – and especially while engaged in the process of writing my book “Accountable” on financial responsibility – I made a point of discussing money management, debt, and financial honesty in the classroom. In hindsight, one particularly important point now seems clear: teaching the key principles of financial management and budgeting skills really doesn’t require that much time. Halachic considerations aside, the whole thing needn’t take much more than a couple of hours.

Vocational Planning

While reflecting on some of the material in another book (“Working With Torah”), I was struck by a rather sad irony. We live in a time and place that offers more career options to fit any skill, aptitude, and social need than ever before, with vast educational resources within easy reach that help guide informed choices. Yet many young people are entirely unaware of anything beyond a pitifully small handful of tired and overcrowded options. Wouldn’t it be nice if those resources could reach the people in our communities who need them most? Couldn’t the yeshiva – or another communal institution – help make this happen?

When everything is said and done, though, a community can do only so much: ultimately, an individual’s decisions are his responsibility alone. Of course, he’d be a fool not to consider the advice of his parents and those of his rebbeim who know him well. But someone who has halachically been an adult since bar mitzva and has already started out on the path of raising his own family, must be ready to take the initiative.

The Whole, Unedited Torah

Without some of our best and brightest young men devoting themselves to full-time Torah study, we would quickly collapse as a recognizably Jewish community. But we must not ignore the fact that Chazal themselves promise the greatest spiritual success specifically to the person who combines Torah and derech eretz: “…for toiling in both will cause sin to be forgotten” (Avos 2:2) – and identify a significant source of corruption and crime: “Whoever doesn’t teach his son a trade, teaches him crime” (Shabbos 29a).

Sure, there are plenty of derashos that offer esoteric interpretations for these sources (and others like them). But their simple meaning is uncontested – a ben Torah with yiras shomayim and a solid connection to a beis hamidrash can not only survive out there, he can flourish. This is the message that must accompany our young men as they set out into the world.

 

Rabbi Boruch Clinton spent twenty years a rebbi in yeshiva and Bais Yaakov high schools before transitioning into the information technology industry. He is the author of Accountable: a Torah Guide to Fiscal Responsibility and Working with Torah: A Torah Guide to Employment, available through www.marbitz.com.

Afterword: Rabbi Moshe Hauer

Klal Perspectives, The World of the Baal Habayis

To read this issue’s questions, CLICK HERE.

The current issue of Klal Perspectives contains a series of outstanding articles on the challenges facing the contemporary baal habayis. There is much food for thought and many ideas for action in these presentations. In this afterword, I would like to share some of the core ideas that appear to me most valuable for the individual baal habayis to consider applying to his own life. Although packaged differently, the reader will inevitably recognize many of the themes struck by the primary contributors to this issue. They are offered here in the hope that this presentation may allow these points to be strengthened for the reader.

In addition, I will present a practical suggestion that I would hope the editors, writers and readers of Klal Perspectives can work together to implement.

 

Doing It All

Life is challenging, for everyone.  So much to do, so little time.  This is arguably even more of an issue in the complex world of the contemporary baal habayis, with a larger family and numerous religious obligations and goals.  The struggle to meet the challenge can produce overwhelming guilt, stress and exhaustion.

There are three primary values that can assist each of us in addressing this challenge: clarity, satisfaction, and support.

1. Clarity

 

Should I be trying to “Do It All”?

You don’t need to. You are not expected to. G-d does not expect any one of us to do it all.

This is a fundamental concept that must be absorbed both intellectually and emotionally. We may have been created equal, but we were not created identical. In every aspect of life, we must see ourselves as individuals with a particular task – a specific area of specialty and endeavor within G-d’s world[1]. One size does not fit all.

As Ramchal explained, there are numerous aspects of goodness and G-dliness that man was expected to achieve. However, each of these aspects develops within an exclusive set of circumstances. As such, G-d did not expect one man to do it all; rather he divided up the tasks of achieving these goals amongst mankind.

The situation can be compared to a government, where the king’s many servants must obey his orders. All of them together must fulfill the task of running his government, and the king therefore gives each one a particular assignment, so that between them all everything necessary is accomplished. Each of these servants has the obligation to complete his particular assignment. He is then rewarded by the king according to how he functions in his particular area of responsibility. (Derech Hashem 2:3:1)

Ramchal presents this idea with regard to the refinement of particular character traits, butthe same idea is ubiquitous in Jewish thought. We are taught to educate each child according to their way (Mishlei 22:6; see GR”A and Malbim there), to choose a career that matches our skills and interests (TB Brachos 43b; Chovos HaLevovos Shaar HaBitachon ch. 3), to recognize and develop our specific portion of the Torah (TB Avodah Zara 19a; Maalos HaTorah quoting Alshich; Sfas Emes Nitzavim 5640) and to find the particular mitzvah that is our specific gateway to eternity (Rambam, Commentary to Mishnah Makkos 3:16). Each of these teachings assumes that any one person at any one time must find their task and master it, to the exclusion of other worthy goals.

With regard to Torah study, beyond choosing topics of interest within a general area of study, Sefer Chassidim (308) taught that people must be mindful of their interests, skills and limitations in choosing which general area of Torah study, i.e. whether to focus on Tanach, Talmudics or practical Halacha. Rav Yaakov Emden went further, suggesting that while everyone has an obligation to study some Torah each day, not everyone is expected – or should (?!) – dedicate hours to such study.

Certainly a genuine set time for Torah study, meaning specific hours daily and nightly for real engagement to become knowledgeable in Torah to be able to discern and to teach its ways, this without a doubt can only be undertaken after a clear source of income has been identified. But this is not for everyone. For there are many regular people that either have not learned or are not so inclined to ongoing in-depth Torah study. They were created to be involved in commerce in order to provide for others who are serving G-d and completely dedicated to study. These individuals are not first asked when they ascend on high whether they fixed time for Torah study, as this is not expected of them. Indeed this simpleton who dedicates himself to Torah study may also bring tears to His Creator, for He would prefer that he not undertake this burden that is not suited to his nature and serves only to distract him from providing sustenance for those who are truly destined to study. (Siddur Bais Yaakov, Limmud Achar HaTefillah)[2]

As believers in the uniqueness of our place and purpose within G-d’s creation, it behooves us to get to know ourselves such that we can identify our particular task in this world.[3] This requires some effort, and would usually benefit from the input of friends, mentors and rebbeim. Done well, it yields a clarity of purpose that both liberates and strengthens. And it should be done early – before one embarks on their career path – and often, as life progresses.

Because beyond identifying our individual paths, there is also the question of defining today’s path. While our nature and strengths may remain fairly constant, our circumstances change constantly and our priorities must change along with them. For instance, an illness in the family, r”l, is a clear call to the man of the house to redirect within the family his time and energy that is normally dedicated to other, broader tasks. “This is what I need to do today.” Likewise, whatever the individual’s unique path, there will be multiple endeavors competing for his time and attention. Again, a clarity of purpose will be gained by a thoughtful weighing and prioritization of responsibilities.

This identification and prioritization of goals must be done with a keen awareness of both our strengths and weaknesses. It must ignore the temptation to look at what others are doing, as what comes easy for them may be difficult for you, and vice versa. They may find it easy to be “holding in learning” while successfully building their career, while for you this is challenging. Rest assured that there are other areas they need to work on that do not come as easily for them as they do for you. Perhaps, for example, you are more readily “present” for your spouse and children. Each of you has natural gifts which you can easily express, and natural challenges, which take hard work. Be ambitious but realistic about what you can accomplish in the latter category.

This is part of the process we know as cheshbon hanefesh, or – in the world at large – the creation of a Personal Mission Statement. Developing such a self-understanding, or mission statement, connects you – per Steven Covey – “with your own unique purpose and the profound satisfaction that comes from fulfilling it.”

 

Psychological Benefits of Cheshbon Hanefesh

Guilt and stress are two obvious and debilitating results of a lack of clarity in terms of individual responsibilities and priorities.

Guilt is the result of a sense of failure at meeting expectations. Such feelings are eliminated when expectations are appropriately modified according to individual qualities and circumstances. If I understand, for example, that in my current circumstance where I am working on building my career and my family I may not expected to “be holding in learning” as a kollel yungerman, or to function as a communal leader of note, I can focus on what I must do without fretting about what I must not.

Stress is likewise not as much the result of hard work, but rather the result of being pulled in different directions. Thus, hours of block time dedicated to working on a single project may leave us tired, but not nearly as stressed as an hour of multi-tasking, jockeying between different activities without giving full attention to one, always feeling that I really need to be doing something else.

The perceived need to do it all at all times is a huge stress builder. An individual’s many different areas of responsibility need to be listed, organized and prioritized in a type of budgeting process where the resources being budgeted are time and energy. Ideally one would actually engage in this process methodically, putting pen to paper and formulating an actual time and energy budget. For the many who shy away from formal processes such as these – for budgets of any kind – there is still much to be gained by dedicating thought to these issues. Clarity about what I should be doing and when, and sticking to that with confidence, substantially relieves stress.

It is certainly the case that even after organizing and prioritizing, there may remain more non-negotiable responsibilities than we have the time and energy to address. Nevertheless – as in a financial budget – approaching it with thought and planning leaves us in greater control of the situation, more aware of coming shortfalls or difficulties such that they can be addressed before spiraling out of control.

 

2. Satisfaction

 

Got Geshmak?

It is difficult to stick to any task without finding joy and satisfaction in it. My rebbe, Harav Yaakov Weinberg, zt”l, used to convey this by explaining our Sages’ comparison of Torah to water. He noted the (sometimes challenged) conventional wisdom of the time, that one should drink eight glasses of water per day to maintain good health. Yet, despite this common advice, and despite the fact that water is free and available, few people actually drink that much. Why? Water, he explained, is incomparably wonderful when you are thirsty, but if you are not thirsty it is a tasteless liquid that is difficult to drink. And as much as you are told it is important to drink it, and as available as it may be, it will be hard to drink if you aren’t thirsty for it. Similarly, knowing that it is important to learn Torah will not create a sustained commitment to doing that. One must be thirsty for it.

In simpler terms, one could say that all duties are hard to meet in a sustained manner if one does not get geshmak, a real sense of satisfaction, from the activity. The sense of duty only goes so far. It is very difficult, for example, to stick to an exercise regimen that does not involve a type of exercise or a social element that makes the regimen inherently enjoyable.

In our world of many obligations, it is critical for the individual to ensure that every obligation is approached with built-in geshmak. Truly, the sources cited earlier encouraging an individual to find their particular character trait, career, area of Torah or mitzvah were encouraging the pursuit of personal satisfaction in our life’s work. This encouragement of individual fulfillment and satisfaction is often ignored in favor of an imagined higher goal of self-discipline. Yet a job, a learning seder or a marriage characterized by a consistent sense of responsibility to keep things going, but absent a sense of joy or fulfillment in the discharge of that responsibility, will almost inevitably “dry up”, leading to burnout and/or a midlife crisis.

It is essential for every person to resist the heroic urge to forego their pursuit of personal satisfaction in favor of just getting the job done. This appears good and responsible in the short term, but ultimately it leaves a feeling of emptiness that will make sticking to the job, seder, or relationship difficult to sustain.

3. SUPPORT

 

It is difficult to do anything challenging alone. Individuals need encouragement, support and company as they work to persevere in achieving any long term commitment.[4] Whether sticking to a diet or exercise regimen, a job, a learning commitment, or a focus on better tefillah – it is “not good for man to be alone.” As Shlomo Hamelech (Koheles 4:9) taught, “Two are better than one … for if they shall falter, the one shall support his friend.”

Baalei batim are certainly in need of such support and friendship. So many people share these challenges and the higher goals behind them. Yet so often the individual feels utterly alone. Joining together with others – friends committed together to higher goals – makes all the difference.

This does not require adding yet another significant time commitment to our already burdened schedules. What it does require is recognition that whatever time we are already allotting to our obligations would be better spent in a framework that draws on community. For instance, it is worth having a fixed place for tefillah where one feels connected to the place, the people and the leadership.

A small investment of time with a group of like-minded friends could yield far greater benefits that would enhance the individual’s abilities and capacity. Much can be gained by being part of a chaburah to get together periodically (anywhere from weekly to monthly) – perhaps with a Rav or mentor – to discuss “real life,” its challenges, its opportunities and its joys; to speak through a question of hashkafa or of weighty current events. Exploring meaningful questions with peers who share your experience and your challenges makes you part of a support group of bnei aliyah, striving together for bigger and better things.

A Practical Suggestion Regarding The Transition

Moving out into the real world from the rarefied and pure atmosphere of the yeshiva can be quite a shock. Life gets much more complicated, between the inevitable layers of complexity added by growing familial responsibilities and the broadening of one’s horizons beyond the walls and the activities of the bais hamedrash. How can we best navigate the transition?

One cannot forget the simplest meaning of the verse (Mishlei 22:6) that instructs us to “educate the child according to his way, such that he will not deviate from it as he grows older.” Education must necessarily equip the student to face the challenges of the long road ahead.

The classic Lithuanian yeshiva system has chosen to accomplish this primarily by giving the student an intense immersion experience in a world of pure Torah commitment, with the hope that this experience will serve as the benchmark for the rest of his life. Thus, rather than introduce the “outside world” to the yeshiva, it instead maintains as pure an environment as possible. This approach has produced phenomenal results, spurring the dramatic rebirth of a Torah community to dimensions unanticipated and perhaps unprecedented.

Yet without a doubt part of the strength of this approach has also created the dilemmas faced by many a baal habayis years after having left the yeshiva. Is there any room in the world that nurtured his spirituality for his life as it appears now? Can he draw strength and guidance from that world for his current reality or is it limited to providing him with a wistful view of what life ought to be?

In trying to address this matter, several contributors in this issue suggest changes within the walls of the yeshiva.   I am hesitant to embrace such suggestions for two basic reasons. First, the apparent broad – though imperfect – success of the classic Lithuanian yeshiva system should have us take pause before suggesting changes or additions that may lower the yeshiva environment’s intensity, affecting the immersion experience that, despite its flaws, has successfully rebuilt an amazing Torah community inside and outside the yeshiva’s walls. Second, any changes to the yeshiva are – and should be – exclusively in the hands and expertise of yeshiva heads. We must identify what is in our hands as rabbis and professionals functioning outside the walls of yeshiva to do to address this matter in our world outside the yeshiva.

I would thus suggest the following as an opportunity to help our yeshiva graduates navigate the transition to the world beyond the yeshiva, short and long term. Imagine if there was an annual, free-standing conference held at a neutral site, intended for young men leaving or recently having left the yeshiva. The conference could include practical seminars on career choice, as well as professional and business networking. In addition the conference could include discussions about issues such as those raised by this issue of Klal Perspectives. Roshei yeshiva and rabbonim would share their insights and guidance about how the attendees can realistically and properly set life goals. Accomplished baalei batim can speak as role models, encouraging this next cohort and sharing with them what has worked for them in facing the many challenges in their lives. All involved can help the participants understand how the road ahead is both incredibly rewarding and uniquely challenging.

Such an experience, including personalities from the world of the yeshiva they are leaving, together with others from the world they are entering, can perhaps help those transitioning to see how their new world can be positively informed by where they have come from.

I recently heard from a group of young men interested in creating such a framework. I think it is an idea worth exploring. I think that the editors, writers and readers of Klal Perspectives can help translate our discussion into action by dedicating efforts to helping develop such a program.

מי לד’ אלי?

Rabbi Moshe Hauer is the rabbi of Congregation Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion in Baltimore, Maryland and a member of the Editorial Board of Klal Perspectives.

[1] Several of our contributors discussed the value of setting specific goals and how to best go about doing so, including Rabbi Herschel Welcher, Rabbi Yisroel Reisman, Charlie Harary, Aaron Berger.

[2] The reader is cautioned that this comment of Rav Yaakov Emden not be taken as the last word on this important and sensitive Halachic subject. It is shared for the purpose of illustrating the opinion of a gadol b’Yisrael on the differing priorities that different people ought to have, even in an area as critical as Torah study.

[3] As discussed by Rabbi Welcher, Rabbi Reisman and Aaron Berger, as well as Rabbi Menachem Zupnick, Dr. Tzvi Pirutinsky and Alexandra Fleksher, the baal habayis has a unique challenge in reaching this clarity of purpose, as his values and training are primarily in Torah, while his opportunities tend to lie elsewhere.

[4] See articles by Rabbi Zupnick, Alexandra Fleksher, Aaron Berger and especially Rabbi Benzion Shafier.

Foreword – Summer 2014

Matters of great worth and significance, says Maharal (Gevuros Hashem, Chapter 30), cannot spring up willy-nilly. They take time to develop. They grow slowly, from darkness to light. While Maharal teaches this in regard to things of great supernal value, the editorial staff would like to believe that our efforts at addressing the needs of the Torah community might, at least be-z’eir anpin, follow the same rule. That would help us explain the long gap in time between the last issue and this one.

Maharal aside, readers will appreciate how difficult it was to produce the pages in front of them. The centrality of Torah study almost defines our community. We lovingly dedicate time to it above all other endeavors; we rhapsodize about its importance. We daven, as did countless generations before, that our children should know the joy of immersion in Torah.

No surprise, then, that any conversation about changing the way that our schools teach Torah is sometimes shut down quickly. When people outside the community or on its periphery exert pressure to “modernize” and “upgrade,” we batten down the hatches, taking a position ofאל תגעו במשיחי . Many of those who question aspects of our system of chinuch are met with suspicion, as if they are prepared to compromise the very foundation of our community. And indeed, sometimes the wrong people are prepared to do just that.

Yet, the importance of Torah itself dictates that approaches to Torah change in the course of time.  Because ישראל ואורייתא חד הוא, a commonality of fate binds them, explains Rav Hutner (Pachad Yitzchok, Chanuka, Maamar 10). What happens to Klal Yisrael affects the way Torah is taught and learned. Rav Hutner distinguishes between a half-dozen approaches, just in the first rungs of Torah’s transmission. We should not be surprised that as Divine hashgachah changes some of the major and minor currents of our communal life, how we engage limud Torah may subtly change as well.

To suggest specific changes responsibly, however, takes a combination of experience and courage. This issue of Klal Perspectives assembles a group of contributors who can lay claim to both.  Because of this, they offer something new to our readership. We know of no shortage of those who will criticize everything in the Torah world. Neither do we lack apologists, who will not tire of defending everything about the status quo. Klal Perspectives was interested in neither of these, but sought out people of loyalty to mesorah who had the courage to share their positive suggestions.

Our contributors do not grope for words with which to articulate the importance of serious, engaging limud Torah. They appreciate its variegated berachos. They have also served as educators long enough to have witnessed changes of emphasis in the past, and understand their necessity.

It should not be surprising, then, that there is much agreement in regard to maintaining focus in the high school years on serious study of Gemara. The contributors are sober and considered about the pitfalls for many students, but their experience tells most of them that Gemara must remain the primary focus even for students who do not flourish in our schools today. Their needs can and must be addressed through other derachim in learning, including bekiyus and halacha-focused learning. They offer practical suggestions about how to choose the proper school for a teen, and how to generate passion for Yiddishkeit.

To keep the conversation on a common platform, we limited our invitations to write to educators within the yeshiva world, where rabbeim, parents and talmidim all expect a long day of limudei kodesh, with a primary emphasis on Gemara. We are cognizant of the fact that this expectation is not shared with all parts of the Orthodox world. In some communities, there is more flexibility, and a different set of challenges. We refer the interested reader to the intriguing thoughts of Rav Aharon Lichtenstein[1], shlit”a, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Har Etzion, about similar issues in the Dati-Leumi community in Israel – some (but not all) of which will apply to parts of the American Modern Orthodox community.

An apocryphal story tells of a cardiologist who picks up his car after some service, and voices surprise about the cost of the repair. “You know, Doctor,” says the mechanic, eager to demonstrate the justice in the bill, “both of us really do the same thing. The car’s engine is like a heart. Getting it to function properly is exactly what you do. I know that you charge far more for your services. You shouldn’t be complaining.”

Not ready to concede the point, the physician responds, “Really? I’d like to see you fix an engine while it is running!”

Our contributors, like the surgeon, understand Torah chinuch to be the heart of the Torah community, and the engine that drives allegiance to Torah and propels students to proper avodas Hashem. They have the skill and experience to suggest ways to improve its function.

Having come this far, readers can appreciate why this issue is thinner than previous ones. Hard as we tried, many people on our list of potential writers were not willing to participate, or could not complete what they began. Readers might now understand that high school chinuch is not the only issue fraught with pitfalls for contributors. In fact, the issue we are now publishing is the third topic that we worked on as a team since the last one. We began work in earnest on two other topics. We carefully debated among ourselves. We drafted questions, and assembled lists of potential writers. We called; we urged; we cajoled. Two of those efforts ended in failure. We could not get enough people willing to meaningfully weigh in on those topics – after months of work and planning had gone into them.

In other words, the lapse of time between issues should not be interpreted as our having lost some of our enthusiasm for the premise of Klal Perspectives. We labored throughout. To the contrary – our aborted issues only brought home the realization that some issues are so complex, that people are not yet ready to engage them publicly. Our work continues, and we daven for the siyata d’Shmaya to one day make a contribution to mending all the pirtzos in geder Yisrael.

Below is a summary of each article. As always, we would love to hear from you.

Rabbi Simcha Cook: Are Our Yeshiva High Schools Servicing their Charges?

Considering the incredible changes that have swept our community in recent years, perhaps the time has come for our gedolim to broadly reexamine the preferred goals of a yeshiva high school. There is a need for more yeshivos that not only cater to the brightest students but that also offer an adjusted though fully meaningful program for the less gifted and the less motivated. Students need opportunities to express their unique talents and to have certain ruchniyus needs met through ongoing conversations about the wide range of hashkafa issues most relevant to teenage bochurim.

Rabbi Sholom Tendler: The Contemporary Yeshiva High School: The Challenge and the Opportunity

There is a significant body of students who seem to fit into traditional yeshivas but do not seem to be thriving there, and they deserve our attention. Though some suggest that a dominant focus on Gemara is not appropriate for these students, there is no way to create the dynamic and vibrant Beis Medrash environment necessary to inspire students without intensive Gemara study. The solution includes an approach to Gemara itself that incorporates varying teaching methodologies, targeting a wider range of students with varying aptitudes and personalities.

Rabbi Ahron Lopiansky: Educating the Education Consumer

Parents are the true consumers of high school chinuch and, by their choices and articulated objectives, it is they who are in the strongest position to initiate and influence a process of improvement in the schools. To exercise proper influence, parents must develop a keener appreciation for the needs of their children and for the method and criteria for choosing a yeshiva. To do so, they should keep in mind that there is no “best school,” only what is best for their child, and that the keys to evaluating a yeshiva are looking for success in imparting the “three C’s” – Clarity, Cumulative knowledge, and Creative analysis.

Rabbi Yeshai Koenigsberg: Reconciling Mesorah and Innovation: The Two Dimensions of Chinuch

When considering the terms under which the mesorah for conducting a yeshiva may be flexible and when it is unchangeable depends, among other things, on the distinction between education and inspiration. While there is a timeless approach to teaching Torah, there is a mandate for each generation to present it to their students in the language to which they will respond. Steps can be taken to improve the education of students through the traditional teaching Gemara and to inspire them with the language of love, success and encouragement.

Rabbi Shlomo Goldberg: Winning the Peace: A New Fifty-Year Plan

In the midst of astounding success in the rebuilding of Torah after World War II, a variety of significant and painful challenges have developed for the community. With a focus on producing the gedolei Torah so sorely needed by the Jewish community, yeshivas have trended towards elitism by celebrating only brilliance and accomplishment, with unfortunate results for far too many of their students. The time has come to re-envision the yeshiva high school system to meet the broader chinuch needs of the general student population.

Rabbi Dovid Katzenstein: The Educational Needs of Today’s Talmidim

While Gemara is properly the central limmud of a yehiva curriculum, today’s students seem to be getting less and less of an education in the other vital areas of Torah, such as Chumash, Navi, Halacha, Hashkafa and Tefilah. In order to provide our talmidim with the satisfaction and confidence they need to be successful bnai Torah throughout their lives, we need to take a fresh and more committed approach to each of these subjects, while continuing the current emphasis on traditional Gemara learning.

Rabbi Moshe Hauer: Reviving der Alter

While the current yeshiva high school system is designed for those who can excel in serious learning and yiras shamayim, it is serving many who will not reach that level of intensity. To ensure that more of those students do not become alienated, but instead gain from the atmosphere and take its inspired commitment forward into their lives, yeshivos – both high school and post-high school – should consider expanding or altering their staffs by providing additional rebbeim whose primary responsibility would be the cultivation of the personal and religious development of the talmidim.

 

[1] http://www.amazon.com/Talmud-Study-Yeshiva-High-Schools/dp/9657324084#

Rabbi Simcha Cook

Klal Perspectives, High School Boys’ Chinuch

To read this issue’s questions, CLICK HERE.

Are Our Yeshiva High Schools Servicing their Charges?

 

My Rebbe, Moreinu Rav Yaakov Weinberg, zt”l, said many times that the methods of teaching Torah are unique and do not follow the guidelines of secular education. Teaching Torah is based on a core mesorah from which we dare not diverge. Nevertheless, what we teach, to whom we teach and how we set up our curricula has always been subject to change when necessary.

For example, incorporating secular subjects in an inappropriate manner was not acceptable in the Yeshiva of Volozhin,¹ even at the expense of closing it down. Yet here in the U.S., secular studies in yeshiva high schools were sanctioned by the gedolim of the previous generation. Much debate has swirled around the Torah Im Derech Eretz philosophy of Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch, but even those who did not accept it as a universally valid approach to avodas Hashem, nevertheless agreed that it was entirely appropriate for his time and place.

Aside from changes associated with secular studies, there have also been changes over the years in the method, style and format of the actual learning and teaching of Torah. For example, fifty years ago in Yeshivas Ner Yisroel, the entire day’s learning revolved completely around the shiur:  the morning was a “layning” (preparation) for the shiur and the first two hours of the afternoon were devoted to reviewing it. Today, review has been relegated to night seder, and the afternoon is dedicated to learning a different subject in the same mesechta.  Each of these changes was instituted by roshei yeshiva after careful deliberation about developments that had taken place in the Torah community over the course of time.

In light of this introduction, having been in chinuch for over forty years both as a rebbe and as a menahel, and having witnessed the incredible changes that have swept our community during these years, I would respectfully suggest that the time has come for our gedolim to broadly reexamine the preferred goals of a yeshiva high school. For instance: What type of growth do we want each bochur to achieve by the time he graduates? Do we just want him to acquire certain abilities in learning or do we want him to attain a certain level of knowledge?  Is it the job of the high school to prepare bochurim for adult life in the outside world, or should that be the domain of the parents? Should menahelim and mechanchim make changes in our programming as we strive to stem the flow of the thousands of our youth leaving the fold of Yiddishkeit, or is that not the responsibility of a yeshiva ketana (high school)?

I would then suggest that our gedolim also meet with a cross-section of menahelim of yeshiva high schools, in order to determine what percentage of their talmidim are not making it through high school, how many students are using their time constructively, and how many are just going through the motions, etc. They should also find out how many young men are straying from Torah and Mitzvos soon after marriage and consider the possible effects of their high school experience. Once our gedolim have gathered this information, they could then decide if changes should be made to our present system, and what those canges should be.

Throughout our history, changes in education were made by great leaders to deal with the nisyonos (challenges) of their times – the creation of yeshivos, the Mussar Movement, the Bais Yaakov movement. I think that such a time has come and that we need great leadership to navigate the turbulent sea of today’s restless youth. I am fearful that if we do not address the issues, we are in danger of losing a generation – not just to the abandonment of Yiddishkeit by some but to indifference to the Almighty and the hashkafa of our Torah hakedosha by many more.

What follows are some of my personal thoughts in answering the four questions that have been posed to us.

Curriculum

In designing the curriculum, it is important for us to realize that the role of a yeshiva in today’s frum community is very different from what it was in pre-war Europe. Firstly, the concept of being a “teenager” between childhood and adulthood did not exist then, as adult responsibilities commenced at a very young age. Secondly, going to yeshiva was not standard fare, but rather a privilege. Thirdly, and probably most important of all, one could be a frum young boy even though he was not in a yeshiva.

Here in America in 2014, if a Jewish boy is not in a Mechina/Mesivta, the odds that he will remain frum are severely reduced. But not every teenage boy has the ability to follow a program that is designed for bochurim of high intelligence, or the desire to concentrate sufficiently on a demanding learning schedule.

There are flourishing yeshivos that cater to those bochurim of higher intelligence and “hasmoda” (diligence) and I think that they should be encouraged to do so. At the other end of the spectrum, there are yeshivos whose curricula are designed to attract and encourage those boys who are on the lower end of the intellectual scale.

What is sorely needed, and unfortunately there is a dearth of such institutions, are more yeshivos that maintain a high level program that caters to the brightest students but that also offers an adjusted though fully meaningful program for the less gifted and the less motivated.

Such an approach can be accomplished in several ways, even while maintaining an intensive focus on Gemora. The most obvious of these is simply tracking the students, but I have seen another approach that has been extremely successful in different high schools: providing older chavrusos to learn one-on-one (or one-on-two) with those boys who need the extra support. If necessary, the length and difficulty of the daily shiur can be modified, with the rebbe offering extra time to challenge his more advanced talmidim. The size of such a class is critical – 20 being optimal, 24 being the maximum. Less accomplished boys tend to take vital inspiration from being together with stronger boys, who very often generate more enthusiasm to learn and succeed than any other source of motivation.

An additional idea: Perhaps after 10^th grade, a shiur could be offered in Gemoras that deal with topics more pertinent to everyday life, developing the Gemora with meforashim (commentaries) through to the halacha. Rabbi Yissacher Frand does this for post-high school boys in Yeshivas Ner Israel and it has met with much success. I think that such an idea could work very well in a Mechina/Mesivta and that it definitely deserves consideration. As a ninth grade rebbe, I implemented this approach in the weeks before Pesach and Chanukah, focusing on those topics. We learnt the relevant Gemoras and then the Halacha, starting with the Rosh, then the Shulchan Aruch and finally the Mishnah Berurah. It piqued the students’  interest and generated an involvement that was really exciting.

Perhaps more important than curriculum is the manner in which the shiur is presented – namely, giving the talmidim a “geshmak” (pleasure/excitement) in learning. This approach can ensure that not only will they want to be in a yeshiva high school, they will also be more likely to remain involved with their learning for the rest of their lives.

It is important to note that stressing enjoyment in learning should not come at the expense of basic learning skills, such as reading and following the arguments in the Gemara. On the contrary, the talented rebbe is able to teach the skills and at the same time make it “geshmak” (deeply enjoyable) The pool from which to draw rebbeim today is vast and we need to select prospects who are not just adequate, but have shown exceptional talent.

Iyun versus bekius (in depth study versus covering ground) has been debated since the time of the Gemorah. The approach of yeshivos today is to focus mainly on iyun,which creates the most enjoyment. The innate pleasure of resolving a contradictory Rambam and the satisfaction of following of an intricate teshuva (responsum) form Rabbi Akiva Eger are the backbone of a yeshiva. However, a serious bekius program offers another type of enjoyment – the feeling of accomplishment in amassing Torah knowledge, which many bochurim find to be their prime motivator in their commitment to learning. Such programs should include periodic testing.

Identifying Each Student’s Strengths and Talents

As mentioned above, those yeshivos that are catering to the higher levels of intelligence and motivation, serving as a feeding ground for the next generation of gedolim, poskim, roshei yeshiva etc., should not provide any program that could be a distraction from that goal. Yeshivos that are not of that ilk, however, need to give the bochurim who are talented in other areas an opportunity to express their talents and to give them a feeling of accomplishment in those areas. Yeshivos that have a General Studies program can offer courses in addition to the standard English, Math and History, in subjects that could be beneficial or perhaps even essential to the student now and later on in life. Examples of such courses include Public Speaking, Financial Management or Business Ethics – subjects that can be included in schools that do not have an official General Studies program.

Although many talmidim would benefit in some ways from extra-curricular projects such as chessed programs or a yearbook, which would enable them to develop other talents, these unfortunately result in far too much bittul Torah for a first-rate yeshiva. However, general studies classes can include practical projects to provide talmidim with these types of opportunities.

Unfortunately, some of our communities look aghast at the idea of a Secular Studies program in a yeshiva ketana, and this attitude filters over to our children, making it well-nigh impossible to successfully establish such a school in those communities. I believe, however, that things will change as the stark reality sinks in that husbands and fathers need to provide for their families and that there just aren’t enough jobs in chinuch and Rabbonus for the minions of capable young men waiting for them.

Ruchnius

In order to remain solidly on the right derech for the long term, high school bochurim have specific ruchnius needs that must be met. Namely, they need to develop over time a personal appreciation of what avodas Hashem is all about. They need to discover what it means to have a relationship with their Creator and to find expression for that relationship in their daily activities. Today, this requires much more than a weekly shmuess. It requires ongoing conversations at appropriate times about the wide range of hashkafa issues and questions that are most relevant to teenage bochurim.

While there are many bochurim who find that their hashkafik needs are being amply met, there are unfortunately many more who feel (whether during high school or sometimes only afterwards) that the standard yeshiva high school system does not (or did not) meet these needs. As a result, they feel lost long after they have left the protective cocoon of the yeshiva. It is imperative that besides the weekly shmuessen that are delivered in most yeshiva high schools, all the boys be encouraged to meet with rebbeim or capable avreichim to keep an open dialogue about matters of hashkafa. They should have the invaluable opportunity to discuss the issues that are facing them and learn how to deal with them.

It is also extremely important to create warm, trusting relationships between rebbeim and talmidim. It is through such close connections that talmidim can be inspired to raise the level of their religiosity and begin to feel a personal kesher (connection) with the Ribono Shel Olam.

Banning instruments of mass ruchnius destruction is a losing battle, but we must seize the initiative and start talking openly about today’s issues to our talmidim, preferably in small, informal settings. Our natural reticence about talking about these matters needs to be revisited, being that we already live in a society that has bankrupted every moral standard that once served as the basis of family and community. Yeshiva high schools still need to impose restrictions on what is and is not allowed in their schools but they must be coupled with teaching bochurim how to deal with their temptations. Forums should be set up where menahelim, mashgichim and experts in this field – together with psychologists and therapists who work with talmidim in these areas – can get together and discuss ideas of how to deal with these issues. Perhaps a future Torah Umesorah convention would be an appropriate venue.

As much as we try, we no longer can shelter our children from the outside world – we’ve got to do our best to help them live in it as morally strong, G-d fearing Jews.

Free Time

Every young bochur in a yeshiva high school needs to have time during the day to relax and take a breather. I have witnessed too many times when “shtarker” (strong) bochurim have maintained a schedule in which they allowed themselves no breaks – much to the admiration of their rebbeim and peers, but only to come crashing down in a broken heap requiring years of therapy to repair. Normal sleep and exercise are as important as food and drink to a young Mechina/Mesivta bochur. Stories of gedolim who grew up in yeshivos depriving themselves of sleep don’t tell the whole story. How many bochurim tried the same thing and never made it, and how many gedolim were not able to learn at all because of their ill health induced by a lack of sleep? In a famous letter written by the Steipler Gaon, he advocates eight hours of sleep for a typical yeshiva bochur.

Playing sports, jogging and doing exercise are all healthy outlets, and fit into the Bartenura’s interpretation of Derech Eretz in the Chazal in Avos of “yaffa Torah im derech eretz.”

Having a gym in a Mechina/Mesivta provides an on-site facility for boys to relax. However, gym hours should be carefully monitored to avoid taking serious bochurim away from after-hours learning. Like everything else, moderation and guidance are needed.

Playing a musical instrument is something to be encouraged, especially if the bochur is talented. Reading Jewish books can also be a source of relaxation; indeed,the right book can often be inspiring. As much as we want to encourage hasmodah (constancy), and find it gratifying to see boys learning late and during their free time, the rebbe/mashgiach/menahel must be alert to signs that a boy is overdoing it. Hasmodah is defined not simply by how many hours you learn, but how you learn during those hours.

Many of our youth are soaring to great heights in their learning and growth in avodas Hashem – but we must always be cognizant of those that are not making it. They so desperately need our help in devising programs to lift them onto a spiritual journey to becoming close to the Almighty and to serving Him with all their hearts. We must not fail them.

 

Rabbi Simcha Cook is the Menahel of Mechinas Ner Yisroel in Baltimore, Maryland.

Rabbi Sholom Tendler

Klal Perspectives, High School Boys’ Chinuch

To read this issue’s questions, CLICK HERE.

The Contemporary Yeshiva High School: The Challenge and the Opportunity

 

Among the many differences between contemporary life and that of previous times is that until the mid-1900s, there was no pressure for every child to stay in school for countless hours over many years. For example, an average non-Jewishfamily with four sons may have sent one son to school in the big city and another into the local village to apprentice in the hardware store, while the other two would remain at home to work on the farm. Each of these sons was guided by loving parents who understood that each child is different. Happiness prevailed, with each of the children devoting their lives to those areas in which they could excel.

Today’s society no longer allows for such choices, as all children are required to attend school throughout their youth. In fact, as of 2012, more than eighty percent (80%) of students in the U.S. successfully graduate high school¹.[2]Moreover, the National Student Clearinghouse Student Tracker Service reports that approximately seventy percent (70%) of high school graduates of upper income, urban families went on to post-high school education. From my experience, it is clear that the societal and cultural expectation that schooling will continue until at least the age of eighteen (if not beyond) is not beneficial for a significant percentage of the general teenage population.

Any educational problem that may exist within the frum world as a result of universal standards is not the making of the yeshiva community – it is society at large which has established an educational culture with unrealistic expectations. At the same time, of course, it is clear that the norm of extended education must be seen as a blessing for the Torah community. Academic studies through adolescence and beyond have introduced an era of Torah study that encompasses the broadest array of children within the observant community since the reign of Chizkiyahu Hamelech, when it could truly be said that “no Jewish boy was left behind.”

The challenge for contemporary mechanchim is to determine how to take advantage of this tremendous opportunity to extend substantive scholarship to the broader population. The fundamental challenge is to fashion an educational system that satisfies the needs of the broadest scope of students. How do we serve them all? How do we “turn on” students with lesser intellectual inclinations or aptitudes? How do we allow both weak and strong students to taste success? How do we cultivate the joy and allegiance of yeshiva students who are compelled to dwell in an academic environment despite being far more comfortable when engaged in physical rigor, creative arts or technology? Is our yeshiva system innovative enough, bold enough and healthy enough to meet this challenge?

The Current Yeshiva System

Before we take up these challenges, we must first recognize the incredible successes of the American yeshiva system. Not only has the yeshiva system managed to capture the allegiance of an unprecedented number of families, one need only walk into almost any traditional yeshiva high school Beis Medrash to be struck by the special nature of American Torah Judaism. The Torah roar of the “voice of Yaakov” may be no less powerful in today’s American yeshivas than it was in the great Torah academies of eras long gone. The palpable vitality is energizing. The geshmak of learning Torah is reflected on the faces and in the body language of teenagers debating with their chavrusos or inquiring of their rabbeim. I suspect that all mechanchim will agree that the key to success in chinuch in this or any generation is the creation of such an environment – the infusion of the vibrancy of yiddishkeit, the intensity of Torah study and the association with a chevra who are collectively and jointly striving to become Bnai Torah.

Over the past few years, however, communal honesty and sobriety have compelled us to recognize that this passion and vibrancy has eluded many of our talmidim who are not only being unsuccessful academically, they are also being alienated from Yiddishkeit in the process. In response, programs have been introduced outside the traditional yeshiva model and new and innovative approaches are being implemented in communities across the country.

But there is also a significant body of students “in between,” who seem to fit into traditional yeshivas but do not seem to be thriving there. These yeshiva high school students stay the course, attend the classes and remain steadfast within the Torah community, but do not develop a true connection with, or satisfaction from, their Torah studies. Unfortunately, such talmidim have not truly been on the communal radar screen. With these students in mind, we must ask ourselves: Can a single educational system address the needs of such a disparate array of students? Is the failure to do so until now the cause of the alienation of some and the dissatisfaction of many?

Certainly, it is difficult to accommodate the needs of every student. And a subject taught at any degree of sophistication will likely either elude or bore one segment of the class. In particular, the most commonly cited cause of the uneven accommodation of student needs is the dominant role of the study of Torah shbe’al peh, Gemara, in our educational curriculum. It is suggested that a dominant focus on Gemara is not appropriate for a substantial segment of the class, who are doomed to failure by a system that doesn’t seem to understand their needs.

Gemara, Gemara, and more Gemara

But is the dominance of Gemara study really the problem? Let us please be careful not to bash the prevailing culture of yeshivos, whose primary emphasis is Gemara and always has been Gemara. In fact, based on my three-plus decades of experience, I can only conclude that this is the only way to teach Torah. I have encountered no method in which the dynamic and vibrant Beis Medrash environment described above has been created other than by shteiging (growing) in Gemara. It is the unique product of Gemara study that is reflected in the kol Torah (sound of Torah study) and pilpul chaverim (collegial debate) which nurtures ayeshiva bochur’s neshama. I have simply yet to meet the talmid who was turned on to Torah learning by any medium other than Gemara.

But what then of the many talmidim who are not being inspired by Gemara? After all, it is no stretch to conclude that different endeavors of study will favor the skill sets and inclinations of different students.

As an educator, it is clear to me that a student’s lack of inspiration in a particular discipline or activity is almost always connected to his feeling that he is not, and perhaps cannot, be successful in that effort. After all, whether teenager or adult, no one likes to be engaged in efforts that do not lead to success. Even in the most popular activities, most teenagers tend to shy away when their skills are not up to par. How often does the poor athlete choose an alternative to playing sports? How often does the musically challenged student give up playing an instrument? Not only do activities in which one is weak tend to be flat and uninspiring, they frequently become a source of frustration and embarrassment. When a student’s intellect and personality do not lend themselves to excellence in Gemara, or even to an ability to keep up, it is inevitable that his connection to Torah study, which is so crucial to his development as a Jew, will suffer.

The obvious response (from those willing to consider change) is to suggest introducing alternative spheres of Torah learning for talmidim with differing intellectual inclinations and strengths. Perhaps a feeling of success and connection can be achieved for some students, they argue, through the study of Tanach, hashkafa, halacha or some other discipline. Unfortunately, I have found that this is not the case at all.

Though it has been attempted, an emphasis on other segments of Torah is simply not effective at capturing the interest of a community of students. The intensity and engagement engendered by the study of Gemara simply cannot be replicated through any other discipline.

The yeshiva high school where I serve as Menahel boasts what I believe to be a particularly well-rounded Torah curricula, which include a very intensive Tanach program, classical hashkafa, halacha and mussar. On an individual basis, encouraging an interest in any of these subjects can be a first step in building up a talmid’s sense of self-worth in Torah.Nevertheless, as I have observed, the only study that can transform a student into a yeshiva bochur is Gemara.

More Gemara, but Perhaps with a Spin

We are thus left with a conundrum. While we must acknowledge that our Gemara classes are not reaching a significant portion of our student population, we cannot escape the reality that the study of Gemara is the most vital religious experience in becoming a Ben Torah. The solution must lie in an approach to Gemara itself that incorporates varying teaching methodologies, targeting a wider range of students with varying aptitudes and personalities.

As implied by the famous verse “chanoch l’naar al pi darko” (educate a student according to his way), “one size does not fit all.” The amazingly stimulating derech halimud that currently prevails in yeshivos today is obviously not for everyone. This is by no means a breakthrough idea, as it is already recognized by every yeshiva, to one degree or another. It is, in fact, for this reason that larger yeshivos typically track high school classes, assigning talmidim in accordance with their respective needs. It has been my experience, however, that this approach fails to address the true needs of the students, and in certain ways creates new problems.

In its typical implementation, tracked classes are simply the same content and style delivered in differing degrees of complexity and speed. The “regular” shiur is basically a watered down (translation: “dumbed down”) version of the “advanced” shiur. This formulation misunderstands the true nature of the academic distinctions among students. It assumes that it is a bochur’s weaker intellectual capacity that deems him unable to be successful in the advanced Gemara class. More often than not, however, that is a complete misdiagnosis.

While there are certainly certain students who are, generally speaking, intellectually weak, most students have varying strengths and weaknesses. Often, they fail to thrive in certain disciplines because their intellectual make-up does not match the intellectual skill set necessary for success in that field. This is readily observed in the secular arena, as some students thrive in sciences but are at loss in literature. Some are mathematical whizzes, but are weak in history. Each person’s mind is unique, and the hope is that each student will discover the discipline that most appropriately complements his strengths

In our current yeshiva system, not only is Gemara the sole true focus, but the approach and style of its study is exceptionally uniform. While this style is perfectly accessible and comfortable for many bochrim, it can be very challenging even to bochurim with equal, or even greater, intellectual capacity, but with a different orientation. It is time for us to begin to explore multiple approaches to the study of Gemara, identifying along the way approaches that play to the strengths of different bochrim.

For example, learning mesechtos l’halacha (for practical conclusions) requires a different intellectual make-up than learning classical lomdus (analysis). It need be no less sophisticated than lomdus, nor any less intellectually challenging. But it would challenge different dimensions of the student’s intellectual profile, and thus interest a different type of student.An approach based on covering more ground, focusing on the primary rishonim, and tracking the development of the halacha from the Gemara to the Tur, the Beis Yosef and on, is a bona fide, traditional approach that often appeals to bochurim otherwise lost at sea in a typical shiur. In addition, the sense of pragmatic accomplishment in learning can be a strong motivation for continued serious Torah study after leaving yeshiva.

The Critical Role of an Individualized Rebbe/Talmid Relationship

In addition to providing a bochur with an academic base for life-long growth in Torah study, the yeshiva should provide each bochur with the tools for life-long personal growth. Nothing plays a more effective role in advancing this goal than a true rebbe-talmid relationship. Class size has to be reasonable to allow for individualized attention for each talmid. Rabbeim need to be selected based on their natural ability to relate to their particular constituency of talmidim. Professional Development sessions by appropriate psychologists and mechanchim to further enhance the rebbe’s counseling skills can be very beneficial.Every talmid needs to know that his rebbe truly cares about him and, most importantly, respects him. To quote one of my mentors, HaRav Naftoli Kaplan, shlit”a, who is one of the primary mashgichim in Eretz Yisroel today, the talmid has to know that “his rebbe cares more about him than he cares about his yeshiva.” This is true for every bochur, during strong periods and weaker periods. It is all about acceptance and self-esteem.

By developing a close personal relationship with the talmid, a rebbe will identify the talmid’s attributes and potential. By both lauding and cultivating these talents, the rebbe will give the talmid the self-esteem to survive those dimensions of the academic environment in which he may be weaker, and will also lead the talmid toward finding his own personal place in Torah learning. The student will become not only a survivor of the yeshiva system, but also a life-long learner.

In ruchnius (spirituality), as in academics, one size simply does not fit all. Consequently, it is imperative that the personalized rebbe-talmid relationship allow the rebbe to tailor an individualized approach for each talmid’s growth in ruchnius. Such individuality does not, however, diminish the need for every yeshiva to implement universal and objective standards of conduct for all their talmidim. Such uniformity need not be inconsistent with a personalized program of spiritual growth for each talmid. For example, I have seen wondrous results from asking talmidim to keep private “cheshbon hanefesh” (self-analysis)diaries in their own chosen areas of avodas Hashem, allowing each talmid to select the dimension of avoda in which he is motivated to improve. The talmid thereby understands that he can feel spiritual growth in his own personal life without being compared to others.

Self-esteem in the talmidim may also be fostered by identifying and encouraging each individual’s special talents. No doubt, each talmid has unique strengths, perhaps in art or music, and these endeavors can be encouraged during the talmid’s spare time and at parental expense. Or, a bochur may be particularly well suited to excelling in chessed activities, or perhaps tutoring younger students. Certain bochurim have exceptional organization skills; identifying roles within the yeshiva that allow for the display of these skills will enable talmidim to earn increased respect of their peers and elders – and, most importantly, increased self-respect.

Need these talents be developed and nurtured at the expense of Torah learning time? Such a question – forgive me – is actually a non-starter. The enhanced self-esteem a student acquires through the recognition and cultivation of his talents will invariably increase both the quality and quantity of his Torah learning.

Parental Responsibilities, Including Choosing the Correct Yeshiva High School

Need every yeshiva provide alternate tracks and encourage talmidim to attend music and art classes? Of course not. The “free marketplace” of yeshivos will always ensure that there are yeshivos of many different flavors and styles. Moreover, many mechanchim will never consider introducing any of these suggestions into their yeshiva, as they are wholly wedded to what they view as the strictly “Brisker Derech,” with no distractions. Gevaldik! The community is richer for having such yeshivos.

But the community also needs yeshivos with broader strokes, as painted above. And attendance at these yeshivos ought to include students with strong as well as mid-level academic capacity.

It is the critical responsibility of parents to spend the necessary time and focus to really get to know their sons. Absent such honest and thorough understanding, it is impossible to guide them to the yeshiva that is truly appropriate for them as individuals. Eighth grade rabbeim and menahalim must have the true best interests of the talmid at heart when guiding them, and not their institution’s prestige, as measured by how many of their graduates are accepted into the most yeshivish or exclusive mesivtos. Communication between parents and their son’s eighth-grade rabbeim and menahel is crucial. Parents should reach out to whomever they feel can give them the most objective guidance in making this critical choice.

Two words of caution: To parents and eighth-grade rabbeim: it is essential to recognize that a talmid succeeding in a very yeshivish high school does not ultimately reflect the realization of the talmid’s greatest potential. Over the long-term, many students enjoy much greater and more profound achievements when growing in a less restrictive environment. Know thy son and know thy talmid!

The second word of caution is to those creating and supervising yeshivos with a broader environment. No yeshiva high school can achieve its goals without the creation of an overall environment of intensity and love of Torah learning. The introduction of an appreciation of individuality and expansiveness will fail, and will certainly fail to attract motivated talmidim, without an intense and central focus on Torah study. And without the inclusion in the yeshiva of truly energized talmidim, it will be impossible to create the atmosphere of intensity and love of learning necessary for all the complementaryofferings to be effective and purposeful.

A Healthy Child Needs a Family

It would be inappropriate for me to take sides in the “dormitory vs. in-town yeshiva” debate, since that choice also varies by child and family circumstances. In any event, however, one cannot over-emphasize the importance of family life in the development of each bochur. While family influence for younger children is obviously critical, it is equally, if not increasingly, important for teenagers in an era in which bored teenagers so readily gravitate toward all types of technology with their inherent dangers.

This is true for even the most exceptional talmid, and even when attending an in-town yeshiva high school. For example, a talmid has a seder with his rebbe before Shacharis. He has chavrusos during lunch and supper and he learns an additional seder after Maariv. What are our expectations of this talmid when he arrives home at 10 p.m.? Chances are he wants to “chill.” Where are his parents and siblings? Are the parents in their rooms (father wakes up early to go to work, or to a shiur before davening)? Where are the siblings? Are they in their respective rooms doing homework? What will our excellent talmid do? Not only is he being deprived of healthy family relationships, but there is also an excellent chance that he will find access to technology, somewhere, somehow.

Parents cannot cede their children’s development to the yeshiva, but must rather partner with the yeshiva in their child’s chinuch. Parents must provide an active and nurturing family life. Popcorn and cocoa are good. Schmuessing is great. Reading healthy books in the same room is invaluable – relationships grow by just “hanging,” even without talking.

The parental role is all the more demanding, and more critical, for the talmid who does not stay for a seder after Maariv. And even more so for the student whose yeshiva experience is not proceeding in the most optimum manner. Teenagers need parents to provide a family life and, perhaps, constructive and healthy endeavors in consultation with the talmid’s rebbe and menahel.

We are living in a time of a true renaissance of Torah. Yeshivos are booming. This is miraculous and wonderful, b’chasdei Hashem, but it presents us with tremendous challenges. B’siyata d’shmaya, we will rise to the occasion.

 

Rabbi Sholom Tendler is the Rosh HaYeshiva of Mesivta Birkas Yitzchok in Los Angeles.

1 http://bigstory.ap.org/article/report-4-5-us-high-school-students-graduate

Rabbi Ahron Lopiansky

Klal Perspectives, High School Boys’ Chinuch

To read this issue’s questions, CLICK HERE.

Educating the Education Consumer

When addressing the subject of challenges and possible improvements to the American chinuch system, the first challenge is to identify who should be the appropriate audience.  Each constituency will readily suggest another to be in need of instruction. Mechanchim tend to find fault in the bochurim, and their poor attitudes, aspirations and performance. Parents readily place the weight of responsibility on the mechanchim, citing the need for improved educational skills, greater individualized sensitivity and an increased time commitment. Bochurim, of course, find both their parents and their rebbeim at fault, rarely connecting any personal shortcomings with personal responsibility. Who, then, should be addressed?

No doubt, every group within the chinuch family has room for improvements.  But if fundamental, systemic improvements are to be considered, the most appropriate starting point would be the constituency with the greatest control of the system.   In our capitalistic society, it is the consumer who is king, and the field of chinuch is no exception.

It is the parents who evaluate high school options for their sons and who create the demand for certain types of institutions. The yeshivos and their mechanchim must vie for bochurim, knowing they will not survive if they do not meet with parents’ expectations. Thus, they fashion much of their educational style and substance to attract the greatest number, and the most impressive group, of students. Parents are thus the true consumers of high school chinuch. Consequently, by their choices and articulated objectives, it is the parents who are in the strongest position to initiate and influence a process of improvement.

Imposing this responsibility on parents, however, is not a simple matter. In order for this to be effective, parents must recognize, acknowledge and embrace this role and its powerful influence, identify their goals and ascertain what changes would advance the system to such ends.  And perhaps the greatest challenge to parents would be the manner by which each would be able to identify which yeshivos and rebbeim are actually implementing the changes that would influence their choice of schools.

How many parents believe that they have the skill or background to reliably ascertain the true nature of a yeshiva’s culture and evaluate its implementation of curricula and emphasis? For one thing, parents are ill-equipped, in both familiarity and time availability, to conduct school inspections – particularly when their choices are from among multiple yeshivos.  And finally, social pressures cannot be ignored.  Parents, naturally and understandably, are inclined to send their children to the yeshiva whose student body most closely reflects their community’s aspirations for its children, and will be hard pressed to “buck the system,” potentially marking their son as “different.”

The goal certainly should not be for the ‘P.T.A.’ of greater American Orthodoxy to change the system overnight. But if parents become sensitized to important problems and begin to ask the same questions when exploring yeshivos, yeshivos will begin to take notice, and real and positive change will inevitably be triggered.  In fact, there are many yeshivos that already wish they could implement sorely needed changes, but are afraid of scaring off potential parents. At a minimum, such institutions would be empowered to implement the changes they already know to be appropriate.

The proper exercise of parental influence requires both a keener appreciation of the proper method of choosing a yeshiva, and clearer understanding of the criteria by which the selection should be made.

There is No “Best School,” Only What is Best for My Child

Each healthy parent enjoys a wonderful sense of attachment to, and pride in, his or her children. This magical connection is the source of the spectacular commitment of parent to child, and the resulting willingness to give limitlessly of one’s self, sacrificing almost anything to meet a child’s needs and best interests. But this same special connection imposes on parents a profound degree of subjectivity when observing their children.

Parents tend to see their children first as unusually cute, and then unusually talented and then unusually intelligent. To make matters worse, some parents view their own self-worth as dependent on the academic ranking and achievements of their children, only increasing the pressure to push them into a framework that is all-too-often not suitable for them. In any case, they will offer the typical rationales to overcome his record: “He does well when he’s around shtarke bochurim” (stronger boys), “I know that he is bright and will rise to the challenge,” “He has, alas, been influenced by the wrong friends,” “If only someone had pushed me when I was his age, I would have become a great rosh yeshiva.”

Imagine someone walking into a clothing store and trying on a size 38 suit that he finds too tight. He then tries on a size 40, but it’s still too snug so he moves up to a 42, which seems just right. Being quite the lamdan, he observes that as he increases the suit sizes, the fit improves each time. Inevitably, he concludes, a size 44 or 46 will be even more fitting, not to mention a 48 or a 50!

In chinuch terms, each child is a different “size” – academically, emotionally, culturally and socially – and should not be pushed past that place. When selecting a yeshiva, a parent should not be not choosing between a “better” or “weaker” school, but rather trying to identify the yeshiva that is best for their particular child. A “stronger” yeshiva may sound more impressive, and reflect elevated academic goals, but that might not necessarily be right even for an apparently intelligent boy. “Stronger” yeshivos typically have tighter discipline and greater competitiveness. While helpful for some, these dimensions of a yeshiva may be devastating for others, regardless of how intelligent they may be. Parents must look beyond the standard measures to determine how good a fit each yeshiva would be for the unique needs of their son.

My brother-in-law, Hagaon Harav Binyomin Carlebach, once heard from R’ Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, zt”l, that the mishna stating “תהי זנב לאריות ואל תהי ראש לשועלים” – that one should rather be a tail of a lion than a head of a fox – does not apply to chinuch. In fact, while still attending school, the child who struggles at the bottom of a strong class will tend to achieve far less than the student who views himself as successful, even when in a much weaker class.

I was once privileged to hear this principle reiterated by R’ Yosef Sholom Elyashiv, zt”l.  About seventeen years ago, I was in Eretz Yisroel with a group of high school boys who were considering yeshivos in Eretz Yisroel, and I took them to greet R’ Elyashiv.  The Gabbai introduced us as, “a group of bochurim from America looking at yeshivos in Eretz Yisroel who want a brocha that they should get into the best yeshivos.” Rav Elyashiv nodded to the Gabbai but turned to the bochurim and said, “IY”H, you should get into the yeshivos that are best for you.”

A second error parents make is viewing chinuch as a single frame photo rather than as a lengthy movie. Comparing two yeshivos by considering their respective ninth-grade classes will provide an incomplete and therefore distorted view of what to expect.  A yeshiva high school must be evaluated based on how the student body is transformed over the full four-year period. How do the graduates look, behave and learn? It would be even more accurate (especially if the high school talmidim typically go on to the mosod’s yeshiva gedolah) to see what they look like ten years down the road. Frequently, short-term, accelerated success is achieved at the expense of a more effective, natural and organic process.

The Current View of Gemara Study, and How to Assess a Yeshiva’s Appropriateness

One of the greatest obstacles to a child’s successful chinuch experience is a mistaken understanding of the academic goals to be pursued. There is a garbled and misrepresented version of alleged  ‘daas Torah’ that presents a picture of ideal Torah study for high school talmidim that would be funny if it were not so common. In a rather satirical summation of the attitude, the view can be summarized as follows:

We all really know that only studying Birkas Shmuel constitutes authentic Talmud Torah. The more Birkas Shmuel one learns, and the less time he spends on the Gemara itself, the greater talmid chochom one will be, וכל המרבה הרי זה משובח. In fact, it is well known that R’ Yisroel Salanter taught that learning in any manner other than b’iyun is actually bitul Torah, and therefore Birchas Hatorah should preferably be said over a Birkas Shmuel.  B’dieved, a Kovetz Shiurim of R’ Elchonon Wasserman will suffice.

While people may be bemused by this extreme portrayal, sadly, it is not as far off as it should be.

What, then, should authentic Talmud Torah look like? While specifics are beyond the scope of this article, there are three principles that deserve priority, which we can call the three C’s – Clarity, Cumulative knowledge, and Creative analysis:

Clarity – If the bochurim in the shiur have not mastered the שקלא וטריא (give and take) of the Gemara, they are failing, even if they can work their way through a ‘shtikel Torah’ (analysis of a point). The student may introduce the greatest innovation or chiddush, or repeat a thorough presentation of conceptual theses, but these accomplishments do not compensate for the inability to recount the basic give and take of the flow of the Gemara.  Before all else, a bochur must be able to read the Gemara thoroughly, his inflection and pronunciation reflecting complete comfort with the material. He should then be able to articulate the central point of the sugya (topic), including how it is reflected in the basic give and take. This applies both to the study of Gemara as well as to Tosfos.

Unfortunately, parents are often allured by the attractiveness of lomdus (advanced analysis), and fail to give full weight to these far more basic cornerstones of learning.  Consequently, many yeshivos are full of very bright bochurim who can impressively feign lomdus but who hardly understand the basics of the Gemara, with devastating consequences to their future learning. Even a parent who is not very advanced in his own learning should be able to keep this in mind in the development of his son’s learning and in choosing a yeshiva that supports this critical value, upon which all future success in learning is based.

Cumulative knowledge – The most basic component of being a talmid chochom is not analytical ability but knowledge of Torah. Moreover, the sense that as one learns more and more, he knows more and more is a great stimulus for passionate learning. If a yeshiva’s curriculum does not include a fixed amount of dapim (pages) (depending on the mesechta), accompanied by written tests that allow the student to gauge his own advancement, the bochur will not develop an ongoing desire to learn.

In many yeshivos, the study of bekiyus (i.e., covering ground) has disintegrated into either a “lite” seder, accompanied by little or no chazora (review), or, in some cases the opposite, with little ground covered and even chaburos for in-depth research.  Similarly, there is often no testing or accountability regarding the material covered, and no emphasis on accumulating real knowledge.  The student in a proper yeshiva should accumulate much Torah knowledge throughout his years in the beis medrash.

Creativity and analysis – While mastering the basics of the Gemara and the accumulation of Torah knowledge is the foundation of all learning, lomdus is its heart and soul.  Tragically, however, the very concept of lomdus has been corrupted.  True lomdus is the ability to learn a sugya, identify its core principles, ask the questions that emerge from the material, and use these questions as the tool to correctly define the relevant terms. Using these terms, the student will be able to use lomdus to outline the various categories of the halacha and understand the implications of the various alternative approaches.

The pedagogical crimes committed in the name of lomdus include (i) neglecting the preliminary mastery of the basics; (ii) diverting to topics barely relevant to the sugya (sometimes just to avoid the appearance of advancing too quickly); (iii) imposing advanced seforim, such as Birkas Shmuel and Shaarei Yoshor, that are inevitably too sophisticated for younger boys; (iv) adopting terminology that is alien to the students, thereby frustrating their ability to express their thoughts meaningfully; and (v) piling on numerous opinions and alternative approaches, turning the sugya from an educational experience into an “anything goes” arena.

My Rebbi, Harav Nochum Partzovitz, zt”l, was the Rosh Yeshiva in the Mir. Rav Nochum, as he was affectionately called, was viewed by many as the preeminent lamdan of his generation, and his shiur was widely considered “the” opportunity to become a true lamdan. Talmidim journeyed from all corners of the world (in the days when travel was still difficult) to learn from him.

Rav Nochum’s shiur reflected the true nature of lomdus (as does that of his son-in-law and successor, ylcht”va, Hagaon R’ Asher Arieli). In each shiur, he stuck to the main points of the sugya with total mastery of pshat, which he employed frequently (and expecting his talmidim to do the same). He did not dazzle us with many alternative approaches to each sugya, but rather focused his shiur on developing what he felt to be the preferred approach to the sugya. For Rav Nochum, lomdus was not the goal of learning; it was rather the tool for understanding the sugya.

When a distant relative of mine once opened a Yeshiva, he asked Rav Nochum if he could present his shiur klali (a shiur delivered to the entire Beis Medrash by the Rosh HaYeshiva) to him each week for prior approval. Rav Nochum graciously consented.  My cousin was learning Baba Metzia, and the first week he presented his shiur on the chazaka of two people simultaneously holding onto an object. Rav Nochum listened and nodded assent.

My cousin returned the second week and presented a shiur on the topic of “the ne’emanus (trustworthiness) of a merchant,” a rather incidental topic that arises on the next page. Rav Nochum stopped him and said, “Just as it is a rebbe’s job to draw his students’ attention to the important issues in the sugya, it is also his job to keep their attention where it belongs. The topic you picked this week would serve as a distraction from the primary considerations that are relevant here, and would not be appropriate material for a shiur.”

True lomdus must be taught by a masterful lamdan who is capable of introducing concepts that will be understood by the class, expressed in language they can appreciate. The rebbe must be able to convey an analysis of the issue at hand and introduce solutions that address the heart of the issues, rather than an arbitrary side point, however interesting it may seem.

R’ Yoshe Ber Soloveitchik zt”l, Rosh Hayeshiva of Yeshiva University, was an extraordinary lamdan and talmid chochom, yet was able to keep baalei batim riveted for hours with a lomdishe shiur. He did so by selecting topics with which his audience was familiar, and by presenting an extraordinary formulation of lomdishe concepts in layman’s language. A rebbe who is a true lamdan and a true pedagogue will have both the inclination and the ability to translate lomdus into a language that can be thoroughly appreciated by his talmidim.

While there are certainly other areas of Torah that must be addressed as part of a yeshiva curriculum, the success of a chinuch system lies in the subject that is at the heart of a yeshiva curriculum: Gemara. If we succeed in doing this right, we will have progressed immeasurably.

Choosing Appropriate Mechanchim for our Children

Once a parent understands that the goal is to find the type of yeshiva that is the best fit for their child, the next step is to identify the criteria by which to identify appropriate individual mechanchim. This inquiry properly begins with two fundamental questions:

Are the rebbeim of the yeshiva individuals whom we would like our children to emulate? After all, a natural response of a healthy child to proper chinuch is the inclination, whether consciously or not, to emulate the mechanech.
What is the fundamental role in which the rebbeim see themselves? Do they view themselves as mechanchim or as roshei yeshiva?  B”H, the hanhalos (administrations) of today’s yeshivos are filled with wonderful talmidei chachomim.  A natural inclination of a talmid chochom is to wish to share with others his chiddushim and scholarly insights. Quite frequently,he views being a mechanech as an extension of his learning. In fact, many significant talmidei chachomim elect to enter the field of chinuch with the expectation that this choice will allow them “to stay in learning.”  While the sharing of one’s brilliance and insight may be appropriate when presenting a chabura amongst peers, or when one is a great renowned Rosh Yeshiva whose shiurim are presented to the most senior of budding talmidei chachomim. But this is far from true and appropriate for almost any other rebbe.
When entering a classroom, the rebbe must focus solely on the needs of his talmidim, not the content that he has so lovingly prepared.  The Torah must be taught to fit the children’s needs, not the opposite.  He must ensure that the shiur is appropriate, in every regard, to the age and academic level of the talmidim.  Rather than allocating the bulk of preparation time to the amassing of substantive material, the time should be spent on thinking through the appropriate structure and presentation of the material. In fact, significant pedagogical skills do not appear automatically, nor are they the natural outgrowth of the talmid chochom’s persona.

When a friend of mine was opening his Yeshiva many years ago, R’ Wolbe, zt”l, the famous Mashgiach and noted educator, advised him: “You must stand every day in front of a mirror, and repeat, ‘I have been created solely for the sake of my talmidim.’”

Who is a Mashpia on the Student?

Finally, and no less important than the learning per se, is exploring who the mashpiim on the talmidim will be.

In past eras, it might have been thought that just sitting and learning shtark is sufficient to mold person’s character. R’ Yisroel Salanter, z’tl, founder of the Mussar movement, strongly disagreed. Although his talmidim varied greatly in their application of his principles, their common axiom was that the deliberate shaping of a person’s middos and hashkafos is essential to his development as a Ben Torah. While everyone today gives lip service to this axiom, many yeshivos continue to consider mussar and a Mashgiach Ruchani as simply a means of getting everyone into the beis medrash on time.

Simply listening to a small selection of shmussen within a yeshiva will quickly illustrate to a parent whether the yeshiva is simply seeking to reinforce beis medrash discipline, or whether there is a deliberate effort to build bochurim.  A thoughtful parent can quickly discern whether the yeshiva’s messages will be relevant to a talmid who eventually enters the world of commerce and whether there is a message regarding basic building blocks of a Ben Torah – thoughts regarding ‘הצנע לכת’ (a modest life) integrity, responsibility, empathy and much more.  Is the yeshiva conveying thoughtful insights into the most basic, as well as the more subtle, concepts that provide talmidim with the understanding and insights needed to face life’s inevitable challenges? Is there inspiration? The sought after hashpaah need not be provided within a yeshiva by the formal ‘mashgiach.’ It may come from the rosh yeshiva, from one or more of the rebbeim, or even from someone else in the beis medrash. The main requirement is that such a personality exists. After all, much of what a talmid will become will be the result of that hashpaah.

Conclusion

Yeshivos, like all institutions, seek to fill their rooms and garner supporters. Those who decide whether the rooms will be filled possess the key to instigating the implementation of necessary changes. In the area of chinuch, parents play that critical role. By selecting schools for children based on the fundamentals of effective teaching, inspirational guidance and student-focused mechanchim, parents can dramatically alter the character and nature of contemporary yeshivos.  This is an opportunity that should not be squandered.

 

Rabbi Ahron Lopiansky is Rosh Yeshiva of the Yeshiva Gedola of Greater Washington and is a member of the Editorial Board of Klal Perspectives.

Rabbi Yeshai Koenigsberg

Klal Perspectives, High School Boys’ Chinuch

To read this issue’s questions, CLICK HERE.

Reconciling Mesorah and Innovation: The Two Dimensions of Chinuch

Central to any examination of boys’ yeshiva high school curriculum is consideration of the dominant role played by Gemara study.  And similar to the very nature and style of Gemara study, the examination will invariably elicit strongly held conflicting views, each with ample evidence and weight of authority.  And just like Gemara study, the ensuing debate is unlikely to conclude with unanimity of views or with a final resolution.  Nevertheless, the debate is worthy and the importance of review and reconsideration compelling.

Inevitably, there will be loyalists to tradition who resist any tampering with current educational practices. They will assert that the traditional approach to teenage Torah education is fundamental to the mesorah, and modifying the current approach not only violates the mesorah, it risks compromising the effectiveness of the education.  Furthermore, as history has shown, once the floodgates of change are opened even a crack, pressure for further change becomes irresistible, often resulting in a Yiddishkeit that is unrecognizable and inauthentic.

Others, however, will argue that modifying current educational practices is clearly warranted. Their focus will be less on how well the upper echelon of teenage students is doing and more on the current system’s record with almost everyone else.  They will argue that the traditional approach to Torah education, and its intense focus on classic Gemara study, remains effective only for the most advanced students, but is severely lacking for all but the academic elite. Moreover, applying the “mesorah” argument is actually misleading and inapplicable since the traditional educational approaches cited as mesorah were implemented during an era when only the elite actually enjoyed continued formal Torah education through teenage years and beyond. The current challenge of implementing a successful high school curriculum cannot be strictly guided by precedent because the broad-based composition of today’s yeshiva student body has no precedent, and thus there really is no applicable mesorah that can be traced back to earlier times.

As in any healthy debate, there is ample legitimacy in each view, and each side is both credible and convincing.   In fact, as will be shown, there is support for each of the above views from two relatively contemporary educational giants.  A careful analysis, however, may yield the ultimately satisfying result that the two views do not actually conflict, but rather complement one another.

The Language of Chinuch: The Slonimer Rebbe and Rav Yerucham Levovitz

As mentioned above, the notion of tampering with mesorah is not taken lightly by the Torah community. Change and innovation may be intended to effect improvement, but they also introduce the risks of the proverbial slippery slope. In no area is there greater resistance to tampering with mesorah than in the field of chinuch. A unique aspect of this concern is highlighted by an exchange recorded in the writings of the Nesivos Shalom – the Slonimer Rebbe, zt”l[2].

A non-religious educator posed the following query: “In our modern educational system, we employ the latest innovations in methodology and use various methods to convey [to the students] ideas and information in concrete ways. How are you[3] able to educate without any of that?” The Rebbe’s reply provides the ultimate mission statement for mechanchim (educators): “All your educational principles and techniques,” explained the Rebbe, “were designed for superficial (“chitzoni”) education (i.e. the physical side of the person and its associated abilities, which merely addresses the external shell of the human personality). But there is an elevated sphere of education, where the educator uses [words and] language not to access the physical [or even intellectual side] of the student but rather to speak to the more profound dimension of the student – his neshama. Accessing the neshama does not require innovative methodology. All it requires is a thorough knowledge of that [special] language – that language being the educational language of yeshivos.” Chinuch,then, is far more profound than mere “education.”  It is about reaching the neshama[4].

No doubt, the methodology of chinuch works through the intellect, but it transcends practical and mundane considerations. The Slonimer Rebbe’s answer highlights an additional dimension of Torah chinuch – igniting the neshama.  This neshama-focused chinuch, with its embrace of the totality of the student, should be the basis of our educational approach.

Lest we fear that speaking the language of the neshama is elusive or unattainable, we are taught that it is rather accessible, after all.  It lies in the astounding power of the very mesorah we possess, which is the means for reaching the neshama.  The how and why of the effectiveness of the mesorah may not be rational and may not be comprehensible, but the long-standing tradition of how yeshivos have been educating for generations provides the language of the neshama. Thus the form, focus, and curriculum of the educational system of previous generations are timeless and invaluable guidelines for chinuch.

On the other hand, Torah guidance appears to mandate that the language of chinuch be continually adapted to the particular needs of each generation. In delivering the pre-matan Torah message to Bnei Yisrael, Hashem tells Moshe, “Ko somar l’vais Yaakov v’sageid l’vnei Yisrael” (So shall you say to the house of Jacob and tell to the sons of Israel – Shemos 19:3). In his oft-cited comment, Rashi notes that women (referred to here as Bais Yaakov) and men (Bnei Yisrael) were addressed differently, presumably because of their distinct dispositions.

The great Mirrer Mashgiach, Rav Yerucham Levovitz, taught based on this comment that the choice of language must always be made in consideration of the words and tone that will reach the particular audience. In fact, Rav Yerucham argues that if we could only identify the proper language for our generation, we would be capable of returning all Jews to Torah.[5] Clearly, we are being taught that the language of former generations will not necessarily be appropriate for subsequent eras. When necessary, a new language must be introduced.

Synthesizing the Lessons

On the surface, it appears that the Slonimer Rebbe and Rav Yerucham are at odds, each advocating mutually exclusive approaches.  The Slonimer Rebbe seemingly resists tailoring language to meet the needs of the current generation, while Rav Yerucham mandates such tailoring. In fact, however a closer examination of their respective insights may illuminate how these two approaches may be reconciled.

The Slonimer Rebbe and Rav Yerucham are each actually referring to distinct elements of the broader discipline of “chinuch.”  The context of the pasuk cited by Rav Yerucham, and the related comment of Rashi, obviously refer to the inspiration and influence of Torah. Rav Yerucham is advising how motivation to Torah observance and yiras shomayim is effectively conveyed. For such purposes, the language must be tailored to one’s intended audience. Each generation – in fact each community – may need a different language and a distinct approach. Innovation in this area of chinuch is not only acceptable, it is absolutely required.

By contrast, the Slonimer Rebbe’s discussion with the non-religious educator was addressing the entirely different dimension of chinuch, per se – the form and substance of Torah education.  In this area of chinuch, changes to the fundamental building blocks are inappropriate.  Teaching the content and meaning of Torah knowledge must be pursued only in accordance with the language and methodology of the age-old mesorah.  This mesorah is not merely an educational vehicle, but is also a profound formula that elevates spirituality.  It is a language that engages the intellect, but reaches deeply into the neshama as well.

The distinction between inspiration and academics[6] is fundamental to the examination of the yeshiva high school curriculum. Below is an examination of each of these two aspects of chinuch, along with an outline of the key elements of each.  Though by no means a comprehensive treatment, the points raised below may contribute to the discussion and lead to exploring effective means of implementation and application[7].

Academics

As noted above, the cornerstone of yeshiva education is the study of Gemara. The historical centrality of Gemara reflects the supreme educational value that the mesorah has assigned to it. There has been much written about its centrality, but among the many vital qualities of Gemara study are the following:

• It represents an encounter with chochma Elokis (divine wisdom) and ratzon Hashem (the will of G-d);
• It facilitates an appreciation of the intricacies of the halachic process;
• It develops critical thinking and provides the tools of analysis employed by the thought and logic of the halachic system;
• It engenders a high degree of student engagement;
• It provides an opportunity for student contribution.

The directive of the Slonimer Rebbe adds a rather novel aspect to the central place of Gemara learning. The implication of this directive is that the traditional emphasis on Gemara reflects the recognition that Gemara learning is not merely an intellectual exercise. Learning the words of Gemara is also learning the language of the neshama. And, as the Slonimer Rebbe has pointed out, the ultimate goal of all our chinuch endeavors is to reach the neshama.

No one familiar with the current high school population, or even with those who have graduated over the past few decades, can deny that there are many intelligent and committed students who fail to thrive. Many observers cite these less-than-stellar graduates as evidence that not all students are “cut out” for Gemara and that alternate Torah subjects should be introduced into the mainstream yeshiva curriculum.

Admittedly, not all students (and perhaps only a minority) are cut out for Gemara – in the manner in which it is being taught. When fashioned properly, Gemara learning can engage virtually every student, stimulate them and become a lifelong pursuit that is both satisfying and exhilarating.

Lomdus & Basic Skills

The conventional approach to learning Gemara includes an emphasis on the study of lomdus – advanced analysis. For many students, however, lomdus is alienating rather than engaging, introducing confusion rather than clarity. If conveyed on an individualized basis, however, in accordance with the intellectual inclination and aptitudes of the particular students, lomdus can be appropriate and deeply rewarding for all students of at least ordinary academic ability.

The frustration experienced by many students regarding Gemara study, and with lomdus in particular, generally results from the student failing to begin a sugya (topic) by properly dissecting the steps of the Gemara. Dissecting the steps of the Gemara enables the student to understand each sequential step, and the logical progression of the Gemara’s thought process.[8]

Perhaps reflecting priorities conveyed by the rebbe, or perhaps by virtue of attitudes encouraged by peers and older students, the typical talmid often feels the need to get through the Gemara as quickly as possible in order to launch into Tosefos and other meforshim (commentaries) – which is viewed as the “real” learning. Talmidim are rarely taught that patience is one of the key ingredients to successful Gemara learning, and they are certainly not trained to exercise it. Students who lack clarity in following the basics of the Gemara will inevitably experience frustration.

The need for clarity in the learning of the Gemara itself holds true for the learning of Rashi, Tosefos, and other meforshim, as well. When lomdus is introduced, the problem becomes even more acute. The depth and subtlety of many lomdishe concepts demand that the concepts be thought through carefully. Each step must be segmented and digested, and the sequence of ideas must become self-evident. In practice, however, there is a tendency for students to grab on to catch phrases without sufficiently grasping the phrases’ true intent.

This tendency can be exacerbated by rebbeim who may be too eager to move past the basics to the “meat” of the sugya, or who are drawn into the excitement of an analysis that may be beyond the level of too much of the class.[9]  Students are thus typically denied sufficient training in the fundamentals and basics of lomdus, and are advanced to elevated levels of study without the benefits of the prerequisites.[10] It is no wonder that only the brightest students are able to find this limud (type of learning) engaging and satisfying.

Unfortunately, many students face an even more basic challenge – they have not been sufficiently trained in the fundamentals of reading and understanding the text of the Gemara, or of Rashi or Tosafos, etc. Reading and vocabulary skills are an absolute precondition for any success in Gemara and often do not receive the attention they deserve. Furthermore, it is only by attaining these basic skills that students will ultimately achieve independence in learning, which is critical to significant continued growth.

Tragically, however, the chinuch system imposes little restraint on advancing students through academic stages of Gemara study without ensuring that each student has mastered the elements actually necessary for such advancement. It is not unusual for students to enter post-high school bais medrash without the ability to read a simple blatt Gemara. While this failure may be attributed to the student’s lack of enthusiasm, or the supposition that the student is intellectually deficient, a typical culprit for this tragedy is the failure of the yeshiva high school system to adequately assess his progress and accurately report on such findings.

There is a resistance to holding students back for fear of stigmatizing the student, or imposing on the student frustration or a sense of inadequacy.  Moreover, there is a fear that indicating to a talmid that he is not a strong student may alienate him.  In fact, however, inappropriately advancing a student imposes far deeper frustration and a more profound and dangerous sense of inadequacy, as the student harbors his private recognition that he has little idea of what is going on in the shiur or on the pages of the Gemara, before which he sits for hours a day.

Parents, too, must play a more active role in ensuring the thoughtful and appropriate academic progression of their sons. Too often, parents push their sons along with little interest in a true assessment of their sons’ academic status or capability.  Parents may fail to inquire of the rebbe or menahel as to their sons’ progress, or actually ignore the subtle (and sometimes explicit) messages being conveyed.

Attention Span & Instant Gratification

Another contemporary challenge that stymies the ability of many talmidim to flourish in the conventional learning model is the ubiquitous shortening of the attention span. Hours spent before a digital screen, together with many other influences, serve to normalize the expectation of intense optical stimulation, and the norm of moving rapidly from one thought to another. Students become simply incapable of focusing, without specific training, for any extended period of time.

This inability has nothing to do with intelligence.  In fact, the overwhelming majority of students possess sufficient intelligence to succeed in Gemara study, but many falter due to an inability to maintain concentration. Length of shiurim and sedarim should be scheduled with this in mind (Rav Naftali Trop reportedly gave shiur for 30 minutes). In addition, the presentation and mode of instruction should be geared to increasing students’ ability to maintain concentration and improve their attention spans.

A final factor to be considered is the need to combat students’ dependence on instant gratification. Technology trains us to expect immediate results. Talmidim need to be instilled with the quality of patience and the understanding that learning Gemara is a process. It takes time to become even minimally comfortable with Gemara learning, let alone to master it.  When expectations are realistic and the successes of each step along the way are appreciated, talmidim can grow to value the longer path toward the goal.

To some, these points may sound innovative. Actually, the contrary is true. These points are merely a call for a return to the basics. It is a call to move away from the trend of prematurely presenting the Gemara and meforshim in an inappropriately advanced form. It is an urging that we not skip important steps and stages too often overlooked. In the competitive drive to cater to the top – or to act as if one is at the top – too many students are losing their motivation and connection with Gemara learning.

Inspiration and Motivation

As noted above, individualized presentation is fundamental to imparting inspiration and motivation. Unlike the teaching of Gemara, in which the text is the focus and the vehicle of transmission, there are not necessarily set texts, methods or vehicles for introducing a talmid to the wonder and beauty of Yiddishkeit, to the experiences of ahavas Hashem and yiras Hashem (love and fear of G-d) and to developing an eagerness to seek the messages of Torah. Educators in each era and in each community must tailor their efforts to their student body according to the values and ideals of the mesorah.

What follows are some strategies that many mechanchim have found to be highly effective in motivating their talmidim. At their core, these strategies have a basis in our mesorah. The current reality, though, demands a new emphasis and creative applications of these age-old principles.

š Language of Love

In most instances, a student’s motivation for learning derives either from an appreciation of the material or from an appreciation of the teacher (or both).[11] Being that student motivation for learning based solely on an appreciation of Gemara has declined significantly from previous generations, there must be a move to generate motivation based on appreciation and admiration of the rebbe. As is taught in Mishlei,[12] however, emotions are by nature reciprocal. Only when the talmid senses that he is appreciated by the rebbe will he in turn come to appreciate the rebbe.

Therefore, it is absolutely vital that students feel that their rebbe genuinely cares for them.[13]^,[14] A close relationship with a rebbe can serve as the ideal bridge to a close relationship with Gemara, even for students for whom Gemara is otherwise unappealing. When a student feels that he is someone who matters to his rebbe, he will naturally be far more motivated to learn and to succeed. When his rebbe takes joy in his progress at his own level, he will take joy as well, and will strive for more. We must keep in mind, however, that teenagers are extremely sharp, particularly in identifying a lack of authenticity. It is not enough for a talmid to perceive that the rebbe cares – the rebbe must actually care!

Additionally, the rebbe’s concerns should not be limited to the specific educational goals at hand but must include even (and perhaps especially) the physical needs and comforts of the talmid, as well as his other areas of interest and concern.  The talmid must sense that the rebbe cares about him as a person and not just as a student.  Especially important in this regard is the rebbe’s capacity to listen. When a talmid feels that he is really being listened to – and understood for who he is – he will feel appreciated. There must be a personal, not merely professional, relationship.

By its nature, the experience of formal learning in a classroom environment creates a distance between rebbe and talmid that is often not conducive to developing a meaningful rapport. Therefore, opportunities to learn with talmidim individually or in small groups are particularly valuable.  In addition, non-learning interactions in a safe setting are extremely important. Activities such as a melave malka and a Shabbos oneg (and certainly a Shabbos retreat) are powerful and valuable opportunities and should be scheduled on a regular basis. Outings with talmidim, whether of educational or recreational nature, should also be scheduled. Events such as these should be held as early as possible in the year in order to begin establishing the rebbe-talmid connection early on. If necessary, consideration should be given to including such activities during regular school hours.

There may have been an era when most talmidim were motivated solely by the importance of learning. For those select students – and there may be some still today – the personal relationship with the rebbe was not critical in triggering and maintaining motivation and interest. For most students today, regardless of their intelligence and commitment, that is simply no longer the case. They need a rebbe who will reach out to them with the “Language of Love.”

š Language of Success

Success breeds success. When a student enjoys the rewarding sense of “I can do it,” he is strongly motivated to repeat the experience.  For students who are not sufficiently inspired by the challenge of mastering Gemara, an alternative is to motivate them by wisely leveraging the excitement and satisfaction of success. Of course, the first step is for the student to experience success upon which to build, which generally requires that he gain enough mastery over certain material that his own input into discussions about it is encouraged and respected.

As noted earlier, a chinuch style that advances students before they are ready tends to accomplish quite the opposite. Not only do such students find themselves feeling lost, they are left out of substantive conversations about the material, tasting failure instead of success. In preparing their material, rebbeim must ensure that they provide all their talmidim – in one context or another – meaningful opportunities to achieve success[15], and then celebrate that success in a balanced and empowering manner. Celebrating even small steps is important, and can flip the switch of a student’s self-esteem. In fact, low self-esteem is one of the leading causes of disaffection with serious Gemara learning.

š Language of Love + Language of Success = Language of Encouragement

One of the most valuable gifts a rebbe can give to a talmid is encouragement. Giving positive feedback and expressing belief in the talmid is a powerful motivator. Encouragement is enhanced when it is rooted in love and in success. When the encouragement comes from someone the talmid knows sincerely cares about him, he will respond that much more. And when the rebbe’s care is coupled with facilitating the student’s successes and acknowledging his accomplishments, his response will be even greater.

There have been extraordinary mechanchim in recent memory who have truly excelled in the language of love, the language of success and the value of encouragement. Their legacy continues to serve as a beacon of guidance and inspiration for all mechanchim.[16]

Conclusion

The evolution from an educational system limited to only the privileged few to the current inclusion of students of all degrees of academic ability and social background is certainly a welcome phenomenon. This broad accessibility, however, imposes the sacred responsibility of insuring the maximum success of every talmid at each stage of his yeshiva education. This, in turn, presents the challenge of finding ways of transmitting our mesorah in an effective and meaningful way to all of our talmidim, while at the same time remaining loyal to the forms and curricula promulgated and held in high regard by that very mesorah. By synthesizing the lessons of The Slonimer Rebbe and Rav Yerucham Levovitz described above, by emphasizing basic skills and proficiency in the Gemara as a necessary foundation for advanced levels of analysis, and by adopting the language of love, success and encouragement, we can help ensure that our mesorah will effectively be passed on to all Klal Yisroel’s children.

 

Rabbi Yeshai Koenigsberg has been teaching for nearly 25 years in American post-high school yeshivos in Eretz Yisrael. Formerly a Rebbe at Yeshivat Ohr Yerushalayim, he currently serves as Mashgiach Ruchani at Yeshivat Yishrei Lev, Telz-Stone, Israel.

[2] Nesivei Chinuch p. 16 (Hebrew edition)

[3] It is unclear if the reference is to the community of Slonim, Chassidim in general, Charedim in general, or the collective Orthodox community.

[4] Interestingly, when referring to our responsibility as parents and mechanchim to our children and students we often speak of the neshamos entrusted to us.

[5] Cited in Shiurei Chumash – Rav Shlomo Wolbe

[6] The Slonimer Rebbe was certainly referring to much more than academics. Included in his comment is the comprehensive goal of Torah instruction and the effect that Torah knowledge has on the person, i.e., the shaping of character and development of a Torah personality. The term academics is used here for the purposes of the discussion at hand – the curriculum of yeshiva high schools.

[7] Obviously a major hurdle facing us today is that of technology – an issue that demands treatment in and of itself. One aspect of technology as well as the related issue of attention span will be touched on briefly below.

[8] This entails focusing on each and every step of the Gemara sugya and clearly identifying each step as a question, answer, proof, etc. (It is useful tool in this regard to train talmidim to recognize the identity of each step in the sugya based on the terminology commonly used for that step. It is surprising how many are unaware of this basic need.)

In addition, all the key assumptions being made at any given point of the sugya should be identified clearly. If and when one or more of those assumptions is challenged, reversed, or modified in the course of the sugya, it should be clearly noted. Besides being beneficial in and of itself, this often facilitates further in-depth analysis once meforshim and lomdus are introduced.

[9] In other words, not all lomdus is appropriate at all stages of a talmid’s learning. Just because a particular lomdishe analysis is the “classic” one on the sugya does not necessarily mean it should be presented.

[10] As above in Gemara learning, all assumptions should be clearly identified. So for example, if two different dimensions are being identified (“two dinim”), each being a member of a separate category or an expression of a different concept, those two categories or concepts should be clearly identified. They should not just be assumed to exist. Sometimes, their existence is intuitive. But often, students may not otherwise appreciate the underpinnings of the analysis.

[11] See Medrash Shmuel on Avos 5:12 (Arbaa midos b’talmidim)

[12] 27:19 כמים הפנים לפנים כן לב האדם לאדם

[13] See Rambam Hilchos Talmud Torah 5, 12 כשם שהתלמידים חייבין בכבוד הרב, כך הרב צריך לכבד את תלמידיו ולקרבן… וצריך אדם להיזהר בתלמידיו, ולאוהבן

[14] Much of what is presented here has been expressed by many contemporary gedolei Yisrael. One striking example can be found in the writings of the Ponevezher Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Michel Yehuda Lefkowitz, zt”l:

קונטרוס ‘דבר זה רבינו הגדול אמרו- והגדת לבנך’ ניסן תשעב

מתוך פרק ט:

– אחד מן העיקרים הנדרשים לתפקיד זה של העמדת תלמידים היא אהבה עמוקה שמפתח הרב כלפי תלמידיו.

– אצל מו”ר הגאון רב איסר זלמן מלצר זצ”ל ראיתי את היחס המיוחד לכל תלמיד באהבה ובמאור פנים יוצא מגדר הרגיל, וכל אחד היה חש בזאת.

מתוך פרק י

– הנה אנו כשנראה תלמיד שלימודו קשה עליו, הרי נאמר שכפי הנראה אין לו הכשרונות הנדרשים ללימודים וכדומה. אך הנה אמרו חז”ל (תענית ח.) ריש לקיש אמר אם ראית תלמיד שלימודו קשה עליו כברזל, בשביל משנתו שאינה סדורה עליו, רבא אמר בשביל רבו שאינו מסביר לו פנים. חז”ל אומרים לנו שהסיבה איננה בגלל מיעוט כשרונות אלא הכל בשביל משנתו שאינה סדורה לו…ונראה שאף רבא לא נחלק על ריש לקיש אלא עליה קאי לפרש מהו שורש וסיבת הדבר שמשנתו אינה סדורה עליו- לפי שרבו אינו מסביר לו פנים, כל הסברות שמשמיע הרב באזניו אינן נקלטות ואין הדברים מסודרים אצלו.

– כאשר הרב מסביר פניו לתלמידיו הרי מקרב בזה את התלמיד ללבו, ונעשה הוא והתלמיד לאחד, בקירוב הלבבות שיש ביניהם, ועל ידי כך שמיעת התלמיד את דברי הרב נעשית בריכוז ובהקשבה שלימה. מכח ההתחברות שנדבק התלמיד ברבו, קולט ללבו יותר את דברי הרב.

– הסברת פנים זו אינה מעשה הנעשה על ידי החלטה שבזמן זה צריך להסביר פנים, אלא מתוך אהבה עמוקה שמפתח הרב כלפי תלמידו הרי בא לקירוב שמאליו מסביר לו פנים.

– כל אחד צריך להשקיע עמל ועבודה רבה להכשיר עצמו למידת ‘בסבר פנים יפות’ שיוכל להורות לתלמידיו כהלכה, וללא הכנה ועבודה מיוחדת לכך אי אפשר להצליח בזה.

[15] Obviously this requires that the learning environment – during both the learning seder and the actual shiur – be interactive.

[16] There are a number of excellent biographies available of master mechanchim that provide invaluable insights and methods. Two that come to mind are the biographies of Rav Shlomo Freifeld, zt”l, and Rav Eliezer Geldzhaler, zt”l.